No. No. No no no no no.

Listen, I'm not one to rush decisions. I like to take my time with them. Kick them around a little bit. Like a baby. I mean, not like a baby, what is something you kick? No, I was right, a baby. Anyways, another thing I don't rush to is conclusions. And I especially try to hold out my conclusions about a team's draft, because it's going to take about three years for the players of said draft to come to fruition, unless they're in the top tier (and sometimes not even then).

But the Bulls fucking blew the draft last night. I missed all of the first 10 picks, except I did manage to see 2 seconds of them. Those two seconds? Joakim Noah wearing a fucking Bulls hat. Waste of a pick. Wait, I'll take that back.

Listen, I don't think Joakim Noah is a shitty player. He's just not what the Bulls need. No, I'll take that back too. I think he could be something the Bulls need, but it may take a little time. One thing he will never be, though, is a scorer. And that is one thing I hoped the Bulls could get with their #9 pick. Ok, I get it, there was none available for them to take. But what about shopping the pick? To the 76ers? Someone must have wanted Noah badly enough? Maybe? Did we really?

Here's what I expect from Noah. We need a young, athletic guy who can rebound and mix it up. I'd prefer he could also mix it up on the offensive end. But mixing it up in general is something I'll always get behind. We also have Nocioni, an undersized player who we don't really have the money (or desire) to keep. So Noah replaces Nocioni's role on the team of being the energy guy off the bench, but he provides better low-post defense and much better rebounding. We lose the offense of Nocioni, but then again, his +/- sucked at the end of the year anyways. Also, I think it will be interesting to see the pairing of Noah and Thomas down low. Not much offense (depending what Ty can add in the offseason) but high energy and tenacious defense. So, I guess I'm not as angry with this pick as I was at first. But just a note to Joakim Noah. Cut your hair, and don't be a fucking jackass. And please God shave. Thanks.

Now, on to the rest of the draft, or as I will call it, Shit Central.

Aaron Cook. I've seen this kind of player before. His name is every fucking other white center in the NBA who's failed in the past 20 years. Aaron Cook was constantly lauded for being such a great college center. And yet, his team has never won, and he always disappears in big games. And, two years ago his draft status wsa probably as high as it was going to be. There hasn't been any more improvement. He is a waste. Worthless. The Bulls should have drafted me. Because I also will never put on a uniform in the NBA. And I would not do it for less money. Aaron Cook. What a shite pick. Is Nick Smith unavailable that we needed to draft Aaron Cook?

And who's next? JamesOn Curry. First, what the hell is a JamesOn? There's probably some punchline to that joke, but I surely don't know it. Anyways, JamesOn went from being one of the top freshmen in the country to 3rd team All Conference last year. I didn't even know the Big 12 made a 3rd team. He's got no handle, no defense, and really his only skill is shooting the set shot, which he's not super awesome at either. Also, he's an undersized 2. Hmm, where else have I seen a team with an undersized 2. Shit, I just don't know. I'm glad we've got one though.

I get it, the end of the draft is a total crapshoot anyways and you're most likely never going to see anything from any of the players there. You're also going to take the best players available. And I don't really know what else was available. But I would much rather take a chance on a kid out of a small school (whatever happened to Harold "The Show" Arcineaux? Was that even his name?) than some player who I've seen a thousand times before and who used to (maybe once, on a fast break or something) impress me.

Also, John Paxson is a genius. Let's not discount that. I could be totally wrong, and it would be totally valid because John Paxson is bigger than Jesus. Well, I don't mean to say that he's bigger than Jesus, just a bigger deal. I would say Jesus was probably about 6'4".

So I could be totally wrong. And I would be fine with that. In fact, I suspect that I could be. While I don't like the Noah pick at first glance, it's actually pretty solid when you consider how easily he should be able to slide into his role. And really one pick is all you're going to get out of most drafts, so I'm guessing that Pax has a few ideas up his sleeve. If only we could rape the Knicks of a ton of draft picks again. Have they heard about the high ceiling on Ben Gordon?

Well that's a start

Obviously, trade rumors have been flying around quite a bit for the past week or so. Well, this morning it seems that finally the Cubs have made an actual trade, perhaps kicking off what could be a pretty active trading season in the MLB.

I read on MLB Trade Rumors that the Cubs have traded Michael Barrett to the Padres for Rob Bowen, a backup catcher. Also included in the deal was a minor league player. Now I've read conflicting things. ESPN sources say that the Cubs got an unnamed minor league pitcher. However, MLB Trade Rumors says the Cubs got an outfielder who was drafted 35th overall last year, showed good power in high school and has a solid right field arm. Sort of a low-risk possibly high-reward type of player, if he can show anything against professional pitching, which so far he has not. Perhaps I can scout him during a Chiefs game and give my two cents, since I obviously know many things about scouting players. And people care what I think. But, it looks like it has since been updated that the Cubs did in fact receive an unnamed pitcher, and perhaps Buster Olney (who broke the trade) was had wrong information. So perhaps I won't be scouting Tyler Burke (the player originally rumored to be in the trade).

So so long Michael Barrett. I can't say that I'm surprised your gone, and I also can't really say that I'm sad to see you go. But you've been relatively good to us, and while your numbers have been down this year, offensively you've been pretty damn solid in the past.

Rob Bowen. Well, he's a backup catcher, but he's hitting better than San Diego's starter, Josh Bard. He's only got 82 at-bats though. Does that mean he's bad at handling a staff, but he can hit? Because we kind of just had a guy like that. He'll definitely be cheaper though. I think I almost would have rather gone with Josh Bard. Just because he seems to be able to handle the staff--well--and that sort of relegates Barrett to backup. And he was just a starter. And he's not really a backup catcher. I don't know the Padres' motives, but hell, if they want him, fantastic.

So, now with Barrett gone, we've got Koyie Hill, who, while not hitting much, is doing a solid job with the staff, Henry Blanco when he gets healthy, and Rob Bowen, whom I still know nothing about. What else could we do?

I read one incredibly unfounded rumor that the Cubs and Reds were discussing a trade involving Ken Griffey Jr. The trade would be Jacque Jones and Sean Marshall to Cincinatti, and Griffey comes over.

Now, as I said, incredibly unfounded, probably not even true. But what would be the point in that if it is true? Sure, Griffey is performing pretty well, and he'd definitely provide power from the left side. And we could use lefties in the lineup. And we definitely need to be rid of Jacque Jones. I just don't see this trade being even. And we need another outfielder when we'd still have too many guys to get at bats? Throw in Cliff Floyd, and Matt Murton. We've got a surplus, and we don't need it.

In addition to that, I still want to be rid of Scott Eyre and Cesar Izturis. They both suck and are dragging this team down. Izturis has lost his job to Mike Fontenot (or Theriot), and we're still going to need to get both Theriot and DeRosa at bats when Aramis comes back. I actually would not be terribly surprised to see DeRosa get traded. If we hadn't just signed him to a 3-year deal he absolutely would be on the block. He seems like he needs to be in the lineup in order to produce, as he's shown by going on a tear since the Cubs were in San Diego.

I still see a ton of moves that can be made, so hopefully Hendry will continue to remain active.

I have so much hate to give. So much.

At times I can be a very hate-filled person. Like, there was the time that I was driving and I was cut off and then was forced to chase down the other person, follow them, then beat them senselessly. I can't remember if they lived or not. And I mean, I refuse to give Penny Dreadful a pass for sucking so horribly bad. The point is, I just have a lot of hate to give, but sometimes I wish I had even MORE outlets for it.

Anyways, with that being said, I would like to point out that I am always looking for new things to hate. Like, Li'l Bush. Hey, Comedy Central, why would you think allowing this show on the air would be a good idea? Remember your last failed George W. Bush show? No? You don't? That's a shame. Because it was horrible. I actually just puked a little thinking of how bad it was. But, yeah, maybe it will work the second time around, in animated form. That's going to work out great.

And now I've been forced to hate penguins as well. I mean, March of the Penguins was original or something. I get it. You know what isn't original? Like 8000 animated movies about penguins. I wonder what the next "It" animal will be? Giraffe's? Sandra Oh's? Camels? Oh, how about kangaroos? Maybe some sort of movie involving a rapping kangaroo would be fantastic. Get on that Hollywood.

So, now that I've gone off the topic I originally was missing anyways, let's just get to the list this week. Oh, also, it's great to be back. Venting my rage. To the list!

New this week:

America. Way to fucking go America, you're back on the list. And you know why? You chose to watch Tyler Perry's House of Payne. Why the fuck would you do something like that? Since when has Tyler Perry ever been the premier expert on anything funny? Oh, he dressed up like a fat old woman, that's, uh, original. But now this shitcom is making TBS a shitload of money, and I guarantee you it's so bad. I, of course, do not know, because I'm not a retard who would tune in to watch it. I made the mistake of watching about 5 minutes of an episode of My Boys when that was on. I then took out one of my kidneys as punishment. Without anesthesia, obviously. But, uh, anyways. House of Payne? "How about we make some sort of shitty family comedy with too many characters, weak plot lines, and an unoriginal background and slap Tyler Perry's name on it! People will love it! And the name can be suggestive! Suggestive!!" Fuck you TBS. And, come on America, I expect more out of you. The show was something like the highest rated sitcom on cable ever. This is only going to encourage both TBS and Tyler Perry, so for that America, you suck.

Bad Cubs. I was going to single out players, but I decided I could just lump them all into one category, and then call out the particular ones. First up: Jacque Jones. Dude, there's no room for you. Well, even if there was room, you wouldn't be playing, because you're about the 4th best option (currently, even with Murton in AAA) in the outfield as is. Actually, I would rather have Fontenot or Theriot out there in place of you as well. And you're complaining about playing time. Here's a hint: It would be easy to play you if you could hit and/or field well. Maybe if you knew how to hit a left-hander, or if you could hit with 2 strikes, you would play. But since you're insistent on not doing things well, it's no one's fault but your own. As for Cesar Izturis, you need to leave town. We do not want you. We certainly don't want you in the lineup. Fontenot/Theriot is a much better combination than anything you provide. I can appreciate your recent timely hitting, but still, you suck. If you could just get some sort of season ending injury so we could waive you, it would be greatly appreciated. So work on that, or I'll have to. And I don't think you want that.

Work. I hate work so much. I had the question posed to me this week, if I was doing this same exact job, but I was in Chicago, would I still hate it? I'm still not sure how to answer that question. I've done hours of soul-searching, I mean I would have if I had a soul, and I think I would have slightly more patience with this job, but I would still probably hate it. So I would probably still be looking for a new job regardless.

Heat. Speaking of this job, it's just so awesome. The a/c in our lab "works" really well. It's really great to come into work, and the temperature is set at 72, and when you leave at the end of the day, it's anywhere between 78-80. And that's actually good, because last year it would routinely get up above 88. So, that's bullshit. In addition, why does it have to be so fucking hot outside? I don't really enjoy working up a sweat by sitting in place. In fact, I despise it. Hey nature, go back to 75. Bitch.

Bachelor Parties. Man, I hate bachelor parties. Or, one in particular. Because things like gambling, and alcohol, and scantily clad women just don't mix at all. AT ALL.

Employers. Fuck you guys.

Peoria. You're really sucking the life out of me now Peoria. The heat, the isolation, the nothing to do. Hey, Cubs game tonight, want tickets? Oh, right, you live in Peoria. Damn. That sucks. You know what the best thing about living in Peoria is? I don't either.

Penny Dreadful. You better not be thinking I'll get over this, because I will not.

And what fell off:

Technology. My DVR is being a piece of shit, but I guess other than that, nothing ELSE has broken down on me recently, so I've got that going for me.

USPS. I found out this great new way to fuck over the USPS. It's called online bill pay. And, apparently, you can send money through a series of tubes to pay your bills, so you don't need to mail them. I have so many stamps left over that I've actually used them as currency to buy other collectible stamps.

TV Networks. I really can't justify taking any of these off of the last list. I think I'm just going to have to make a Dead To Me list also.

So that's all I've got. But there's oh so much more hate to give.

I still don't really get this

Ok, so the Cubs have been doing better, but they're still not doing great, and I'm confused about a couple of things.

Why can't Piniella stick with one batting order? The top three spots in the batting order, for the most part now that Pie is up, are set, and when Ramirez is healthy, the top 4 are set. But why would you move around all of the different hitters? And why would you bat Jacque Jones anywhere but 6th or 7th? Or even Michael Barrett for that matter? Neither of them are hitting as well as they should be, so why would you want to exploit that by putting them in the 4th spot? That spot should go to Cliff Floyd, who should be in the lineup rather than Jacque Jones, and that's how it should stay. And remember when Piniella hit Jones 2? What the hell was he thinking? I just get sick of seeing a new batting order every single day, and it's just baffling.

Now that Murton has been sent down, which still seems pretty illogical, that should make roles just a little bit clearer. Floyd, Pagan occasionally, and Jones will share time in right, but I would hope that Floyd and Pagan get the bulk of the time. Remember how everyone said that signing Cliff Floyd would be a mistake unless they moved Jacque Jones? Well, now it's completely come to fruition. Everyone is playing out of place in right, except for perhaps Jacque, but he's sucking the most of everyone. I still don't see why Floyd needed to be signed in the first place, since Murton proved he can handle playing everyday last year. Baahhh. Still upset at this situation.

But, anyways, why do we still have Jacque Jones? What are we possibly looking for in return? There's one area that we need help at, and it's bullpen. And even that hasn't been too bad of late. Maybe it just took two months for everyone to get into bullpen mindset. Everyone except Eyre or course, because fatty just sucks. Are we looking for another major league caliber position player? We definitely don't need another outfielder, and we have an excess of middle infielders as well. So what do we want? Catcher? First baseman? It seems like those guys would just be wasting a roster spot. So we have to trade for a minor leaguer. I would be fine if we took a risk on a young guy with a live arm, and possibly not a lot of potential, just so we could get rid of Jones. I mean, there you at least have a chance that the kid could turn into something good. With Jones you just have a lot of inadquate play, and there's really not space for it on this team.

Now, about that bullpen. What the hell is going on out there? Why do we need 13 pitchers? We should have traded Scott Eyre when we had the chance, assuming we did have the chance. Sean Marshall has been amazing, and Rich Hill has been solid too (he can't get run support), so we are obviously doing a better job of developing pitchers. Speaking of, Marmol is doing well out of the bullpen also. We need to waive Eyre or something, because if we're not going to use him, it's worthless to have him taking up a roster spot. But remember Neal Cotts? What the hell happened to him? Did I miss something?

Anyways, here's what I would like to see happen. We package Jacque Jones, Cesar Izturis (who is now out of a job) and Scott Eyre and send them to someone who will give us a reliever in return. I would also say that as much as I hate to do it, Murton should be traded. I would love to get Saltalamachhia from the Braves, and I think we may have something they want, although I'm not sure what it would be. Starting pitching? Murton/Jones? Bullpen guys we have no use for but they may be able to coach?

Also, back to another concern I have. Now, I'll admit, I'm too lazy to look up injuries or anything, but what happened to the guys we had up earlier in the year? I mentioned Neal Cotts before, but what about Ronnie Cedeno? He had a great spring. Is he really sucking in AAA? (Fine, I'll check.) Nope. No he's not. (Neal Cotts however, pretty much is.) He's not hitting to the tune of .389 like a certain other player recently recalled, or even .340 like a player who was also recently recalled, but he's hitting .319. There's really no spot for Ronnie on the roster, so why can't we package him in a deal also? He could easily have a spot on another team looking for a little infield depth, and we just don't have room for him, what with having 4 utility infielders as it is.

Anyways, I guess there's really no point to all of this, except to question whether or not this team really has any direction. Deals should be being made to solve the problems. I realize that with the sale of the team pending, the Cubs, regardless of what they may say, are probably pretty limited in spending, so they're not going to be able to take on much more salary. But if the Cubs are waiting to find the perfect deal for Jacque Jones, they're probably not going to find it. I would have found it, though, because my perfect deal for Jacque Jones is ANYTHING.

So there are players to be moved, and this is really the first time in a while that the Cubs can be sellers with their glut of reasonably talented players. Hopefully Hendry can get off his ass and do something, but that remains to be seen.