Welcome Back. Bitches.

So it's been a little while since I've written anything. And you know what? I've barely had any inspiration for anything at all. I'll start hating something, and then I'll forget about it. Me and my lousy memory. If I could remember I'd write something about that too. But anyways, where was I?

So, what's new? Not a lot, thanks for asking. My life has no direction, but that's nothing new. Also, I have become increasing obsessed with Michael Cera for reasons beyond my own understanding. I think he may be the funniest person alive. And have you seen the preview for Superbad? That shit looks hilarious.

Man, what's my deal? Not even any hilarious anecdotes this week? You'd think after so long off I'd be saving shit up in my lockbox of hilarity. Well, I lost it. How does that sound? So without further ado, this week's list:

New this week:

Technology. Yep, you're still on my shit list. Nothing you do can go well for me. My tv continues to suck, and I think there my also be a spot of discoloration developing as well. That's just terrific, because often I wonder what my TV would look like if it were in variations of green and blue. Hopefully, soon enough, you can quell that thirst for knowledge. Also, my FM transmitter for my iPod now sucks. Apparently it wasn't designed with my car in mind, because whenever I reverse, I have to slip it on its side. Well, now it flips over almost every time I make a right turn. That's not annoying at all. Thanks for that technology. Except replace the word "that" with everything. Oh, and replace "thanks" for "fuck you."

Money. Man, so many fucking bills to pay this month. Also, I want to point out that when we had yearly reviews, in JANUARY, mine was stellar. But I couldn't get a raise because they're in NEGOTIATIONS. So, yeah, that will happen never. Perhaps this should be filed under work, but it's regarding money, and I still don't have enough. I may pick up another job on the side dealing drugs, because where's the downside in that? Nowhere is the correct answer.

Work. Man, remember how I complained about how cold it was in here, back in like February? Yeah, those were the good old days. It's 81 degrees outside, and yet it's a brisk 78 degrees in here. It's amazing I don't catch frostbite in these working conditions. 78 degrees. What do I look like. A penguin? (If I do look like a penguin, just don't tell me.)

Karma. So, I hate my job, and I'm still looking for a new one. Since I don't give a shit about it, I called in sick on Monday. Woohoo extended weekend. Well karma is kicking me in the ass for it, because among various other things, I'm getting sick. And/or I've gotten sick. But can karma give me a new job for working a shit job for this long? Of course not. Because karma is a cold-hearted bitch. And I heard she was a whore too.

Best Buy. I actually still hate you, and as proof, I actually bought something from Wal-Mart. God, I just shuddered as I typed out Wal-Mart.

Employers. Hey, employers, why don't you quit following karma's lead and get me a new fucking job! I'm a great employee, and as long as I'm interested in my work and feel like I'm being reimbursed for said work fairly, I'll not take too many sick days when I'm not sick. Hell, Monday was the first I'd ever taken here. So what's that bullshit about? Um, anyways, back on course, I would very nearly give my number out on here just to see if employers would call it, but I'd probably get a lot of fans calling, and I don't have the effort to screen calls this weekend. So, uh, where was I? Oh yeah, I need a new job.

Peoria. You know what there is in Peoria? Shit. None of my friends. A strip club that I refuse to go to by myself. A strange smell on various days. Boredom. Apathy. And my fucking job. It's like my apartment is an oasis in a giant desert of dullness and whatever the opposite of life is. I need to get out of here.

Penny Dreadful. I was in Best Buy like a month ago (before the iPod debacle) and I bought two movies from Horrorfest. You know how many of them were Penny Dreadful? Zero. In fact, I saw the pile of Penny Dreadful movies and I broke them all in half, while screaming incessantly, and then I puked on them. Yeah. Take that Penny Dreadful.

Off this week:

Jacque Jones. You know, he should probably still be on the list. How do you fucking leave 9 runners on base in one game? But, you know what, I just don't have the Jacque-hating in me right now.

Tires. Apparently I am fickle and cannot hold a grudge for very long. Who says I haven't learned anything from women?

So that's all I've got for this week. It's kicked my ass, and I'll be glad to say good-riddance to it. So I guess I'll see everyone in three weeks?