Should I be alarmed that I have no semblance of a life?
On Saturday while in Chicago I decided to check my e-mail. I actually received some awesome news. I guess, I'll backtrack a little bit. I'm an avid reader of TVgasm.com, and I've always thought that it would be something awesome to do if given the chance. Well, they've had some people move on and they're recapping a lot more shows now, so they have been looking for new writers. I recapped an episode of Top Chef 2, but apparently I sounded pretty angry. And for good reason, that Marisa was a bitch.
But anyways, I wrote a submission for I love New York, since I didn't know if they would have anyone recapping it, and, hell, I've got some free time. So I submitted it, and unfortunately they already had a writer for it. One of the moderators must have liked it enough though, because they asked if i watched Surreal Life Fame Games. I said I'd caught part of the first episode, but I wasn't watching it very closely. However, if they wanted me to recap it, I said I'd give it a shot. And they posted it on the site. So now I'm a part-time guest-blogger for something that actually receives a lot of hits. But it's for a show that not many people watch. Not bad beginning though.
So, I'm not really sure how to tie this together. But, uh, let's go to the board!
What's new this week:
Money. I want it, I need it, I never have enough of it. You're on notice because I now worship you more than I worship the image of myself in the mirror. Or perhaps pictures of myself on other people's camera. But that's what you get for giving me your camera. What was I saying? Oh yeah, money! Stop ruling my life! Oh, who am I kidding, I could never be mad at you. But you're on notice!
People. I despise people. Everyone really. From your douchey toolbag to your vapid girl to pretty much everyone else you can think of. Drivers, people in grocery stores, all of them. This explanation doesn't do anywhere near enough justice for the loathing of people that I feel. Just know that it's a lot, and hope that it isn't you. But it most likely is*. So people, you're on notice!
Bill O'Reilly. This dude is fucking brilliant. And I say that in an truly objective way. He's obviously not very smart, as he's a conservative Republican. But he has his own show on Fox News. And HE IS NEVER WRONG. If you didn't know, and how could you not, O'Reilly appeared on Colbert's show and vice versa. And last night was the first time I'd ever seen O'Reilly's show. I couldn't believe it. He seriously is never wrong. He presents his opinion in such an unobjective way. It's his way or nothing. But then he has the ability, if someone calls him out on it, to complete alter his meanings. You can never catch him off-guard because he is fully prepared to reneg on what he meant to say. It was literally sheer brilliance watching his show. I mean, he's a pompous dick who is a know-it-all conservative, but I'll be damned if it wasn't something unbelievable to watch. That being said, he continued to take a couple of shots at Jon Stewart, and he pointed out, twice I believe, that he gets better ratings than both Daily Show and Colbert Report. What he didn't point out, however, is that he's also on THREE HOURS EARLIER in primetime. He is a master of his never-wrong craft, and for that, he's on notice. But he's also on notice for being such an arrogant prick in general.
Who fell off:
David Beckham. Take your money and your amazing good looks that are constantly forcing me to fantasize about you and get out of my sight already. You're old news. And I love you. And if it's wrong for a straight man to love you then I don't want to be right.
Poodle Lady. That shit just isn't right, but it's been out of my sight all week. She's still on the monitor though.
Bruce Weber Haters. You're also still on the monitor, but losing that game that should have been won at MSU doesn't help my case at all. Until the team plays 2 full halves, I've really got nothing.
*isn't
But anyways, I wrote a submission for I love New York, since I didn't know if they would have anyone recapping it, and, hell, I've got some free time. So I submitted it, and unfortunately they already had a writer for it. One of the moderators must have liked it enough though, because they asked if i watched Surreal Life Fame Games. I said I'd caught part of the first episode, but I wasn't watching it very closely. However, if they wanted me to recap it, I said I'd give it a shot. And they posted it on the site. So now I'm a part-time guest-blogger for something that actually receives a lot of hits. But it's for a show that not many people watch. Not bad beginning though.
So, I'm not really sure how to tie this together. But, uh, let's go to the board!
What's new this week:
Money. I want it, I need it, I never have enough of it. You're on notice because I now worship you more than I worship the image of myself in the mirror. Or perhaps pictures of myself on other people's camera. But that's what you get for giving me your camera. What was I saying? Oh yeah, money! Stop ruling my life! Oh, who am I kidding, I could never be mad at you. But you're on notice!
People. I despise people. Everyone really. From your douchey toolbag to your vapid girl to pretty much everyone else you can think of. Drivers, people in grocery stores, all of them. This explanation doesn't do anywhere near enough justice for the loathing of people that I feel. Just know that it's a lot, and hope that it isn't you. But it most likely is*. So people, you're on notice!
Bill O'Reilly. This dude is fucking brilliant. And I say that in an truly objective way. He's obviously not very smart, as he's a conservative Republican. But he has his own show on Fox News. And HE IS NEVER WRONG. If you didn't know, and how could you not, O'Reilly appeared on Colbert's show and vice versa. And last night was the first time I'd ever seen O'Reilly's show. I couldn't believe it. He seriously is never wrong. He presents his opinion in such an unobjective way. It's his way or nothing. But then he has the ability, if someone calls him out on it, to complete alter his meanings. You can never catch him off-guard because he is fully prepared to reneg on what he meant to say. It was literally sheer brilliance watching his show. I mean, he's a pompous dick who is a know-it-all conservative, but I'll be damned if it wasn't something unbelievable to watch. That being said, he continued to take a couple of shots at Jon Stewart, and he pointed out, twice I believe, that he gets better ratings than both Daily Show and Colbert Report. What he didn't point out, however, is that he's also on THREE HOURS EARLIER in primetime. He is a master of his never-wrong craft, and for that, he's on notice. But he's also on notice for being such an arrogant prick in general.
Who fell off:
David Beckham. Take your money and your amazing good looks that are constantly forcing me to fantasize about you and get out of my sight already. You're old news. And I love you. And if it's wrong for a straight man to love you then I don't want to be right.
Poodle Lady. That shit just isn't right, but it's been out of my sight all week. She's still on the monitor though.
Bruce Weber Haters. You're also still on the monitor, but losing that game that should have been won at MSU doesn't help my case at all. Until the team plays 2 full halves, I've really got nothing.
*isn't
Labels: I hate many things which make up this list and also other things not on this list
posted by Jtrouble at 2:39 PM
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