I thought I had an STD but it just turned out to be March Madness

This has got to be the best time of the year. There are still a lot of teams playing men's college basketball, and Duke isn't one of them, upsets galore (hopefully at some point through the tournament), and my birthday. And let's not forget a new season of South Park and 300 last week, which was insanely awesome.

Another great thing (*shameless self-promotion alert*) is that I started recapping The Real World on TVgasm. Which, if you were wondering, is still blocked by my firewall. I work for Nazis though, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Anyways, the recap is a lot more fun to do than The Surreal Life Fame Games and people actually read it. I was afraid that I was going to be hung out to dry in the comments, but actually people were pretty perceptive to the jokes. Some people even loved it. Although I'm sure their IQ's are in question.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of time this week to try and be funny, so let's just get to the list.

New this week:

Technology. Just when I think everything is working right (aside from my iTunes, whatever that's all about), my computer starts making this clicking noise and goes all blue screen, then restarts itself. Fanfuckingtastic. Not only that, it's still making the clicking noise every once in a while, so I fully expect it to crash any day now. And I definitely cannot afford to replace it. But what are you gonna do? Technology is almost dead to me.

Old Dominion. What's up ODU. Couldn't pull off the upset against Butler? Even though you totally should have. Bastards. .

Weather. Seriously, I told you to cut this shit out. It's 80 here on Tuesday night, and then it's suddenly 38 today with a chance of snow? Fuck you. That's what I say to your snow.

Gonzaga. Ok, I know you lost Josh Heytvelt because he likes magical mushrooms, but is that any reason to play Indiana like a bunch of pansies? Illinois gave a perfect recipe for beating Indiana. TWICE. But you can't follow it? Pressure the shooters, specifically Rod Wilmont. Oh, you'll just go and let him go off for 16 (or whatever he had) in the first half? Suit yourself. Losers.

Taxes. I mailed my taxes in to be processed this week. And I didn't pay that state tax bullshit. And I told the government to keep that fucking $59 they owe me. I don't need their pity. Ok, that's a lie. I totally need their pity. But fuck them anyways.

My sister. Remember how my friends were on notice last week? Well, now my sister is. Because she thinks they're soo funny. And she was challenging me to put her on the list. I think we all know she learned her lesson. I expect her to apologize profusely any second now. Any second.

Davidson. Even though I technically picked you to lose in almost every bracket I did, I'm pissed off at you. You easily had the easiest chance for an upset early in the day, and then you blew it. Not only that, in one of the brackets I filled out, I picked you to go to the sweet 16? You know what that got me? Shit. So you're on notice now. Look what you've done.

Off this week:

Work. Work probably shouldn't be off. I work in terrible conditions. It's like The Jungle all over again. Verbatim. Plus, it interrupts my college basketball watching. You know what? Work is officially back on notice. Way to go work.

Firewalls. I hate you, you suck. You won't let me to TVgasm. I need TVgasm. Fuck you.

Kelvin Sampson. Is it his fault that Gonzaga came out with a terrible gameplan and poor guard defense? No, it's Gonzaga's fault. I should put Mark Few on notice. But I won't. Even though I would be totally justified if I did. Plus, a win for the Big Ten will shut up all those other bastards complaining about the Big Ten getting 6 bids. What about the Big East? Maybe they shouldn't have gotten all those bids. Or fucking Stanford. What's that shit about? (note: technically this rant should have come last week, but apparently I was short on time)

My friends. My friends made a big comeback this week. They're just lucky that it was my birthday that they would get ample opportunities to get back in my good graces.

Anti-Chief people. I'm done with you.

So that's all I've got for this week. Feel free to check out my shit at TVgasm, because I'm awesome. What other reason do you need?