Welcome to March bitches

It's finally March. As we all know, March is the most kickass bitchingest month you'll ever find. First, it's when the weather starts to warm up and unretard itself. Second, all of the greatest people in the history of forever have been born in March.

For example, Albert Einstein was born in March, as was Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Martin Luther King, the guy who invented the Roomba, FDR, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, that guy from that movie about the thing, and I'm pretty sure Jesus was too. You could get some great things accomplished with the people on that list. Especially the Roomba guy.

And a number of amazing things happened in March too. First there was the discovery of electricity by Thomas Edison, after it was first invented by Jesus, and then left for thousands of years, forgotten. Then you've got the development of the A-bomb, D-day, the first exploit to the moon, the signing of the Declaration of Independence.*

So, as you can see, March is The Shit. All the other months are little whiny bitches in comparison to March. And the fact that March follows the little wiener month February makes it all the better.

So don't fuck with March. Let's see the list for this week:

New this week:

Technology. Last night my AIM was all fucked up. I would send like 3 message, not even right in a row, and then I would get a message that I had been rate limited, so I would have to close AIM, then sign back on. It was a pain in my ass. I'm sick of technology treading all over me lately. So, once again, you're on notice!

Work. What's up 5-day work weeks? What, you think I don't have anything better to do than to work five whole days a week? Well you've got some nerve. And I do. I could be doing plenty. Like looking for a job I'd actually like. So, work, you're cramping my style. On notice!

Weather. Seriously weather, what the fuck is up. Middle of the week you're in the 50's, then on the weekends you go back to being shit. I'm sick of this shit. Warm the fuck up right now. Nobody cares about global warming when you're snowing and pissing everybody off, except they want it to hurry the fuck up and get here already. So, until you get your stupid fucking act together, you're on notice!

Taxes. Hey government. Fuck you! I got my taxes done the other day, and guess how much money I get back? 59 fucking dollars. Wow, I could go and buy a pair of shoes or something. Or pay a bill! I know, I know, I'm so lucky to get back so much fucking money. But guess how much it costs to have the state of Illinois fuck me over? $60! That's right. I fucking owe money on my taxes this year. What a giant load of bullshit is that. Am I in the tax bracket that means I get not only do I not get to keep any of the money I make, but the fucking government will take a little bit extra as well? I'm seriously considering not paying the state, because what's $60 to them. I already had to pay to register my fucking car for this year. That's more than $60. That shit should cancel out. So fuck you taxes. No, wait. Let me finish. Seriously, fuck you.

"Lost." Does anybody even like this show anymore? I mean, I can understand wanting to know how it's all going to work out, but the shit is so boring. You spend 50 minutes (or 44, whatever isn't commercials) of the episode being bored out of your mind, and then at the end something may or may not happen. It's a bunch of bullshit. Besides, there's no point in trying to guess at what's going on, because there's no fucking way you'll figure it out. Because the writers don't even know. I get the feeling that the show will end with someone waking up from a dream, or it will all be inside an autistic kid's imagination. That's the only way the fucking show makes sense.

Anti-Chief People. Fuck you. I'm over the Chief being retired. And if you're sick of the argument about the Chief, then that's fine, you unopinionated bitch. But, if you're against the Chief for what you feel is a valid reason, then you're absolutely fucking wrong.

What fell off:

Money. Oh, don't get me wrong. I absolutely don't have enough of this. I had to take my car in this week and I doubled over in pain when I saw the estimate. And that was just for a checkup! But I got to drive a BMW X3 for a day, so that was pretty sweet.

America. Again, don't get me wrong, I still have to destroy America. I expect people to be less stupid about movie choices in the future though. Well, I take that back, that Wild Hogs movie or whatever it is has got to be awful, and a lot of people might go and see it.

Being sick. I started feeling better on Saturday and my drinking for the evening wasn't impeded at all. So I only had to suffer through two days of work before feeling better. So being sick is off the radar for hopefully a long time.

"Popular TV." I absolutely can't stand Heroes. It's turning into Lost, and they're just going to keep adding and taking away characters, giving just enough backstory to confuse, then going back to the present, and I for one don't care. But Lost was more annoying this week.

So that's all I've got for this week. It's going to be another crazy weekend in central Illinois, and I'm probably not going to remember a lot of it. But I'll try. Kind of.

*Don't try to tell me I'm wrong by using "facts." You can use "facts" to prove anything.