You kiss your, uh, kids with that mouth?
Shortened weekend in Chicago, and it was actually supposed to be pretty low-key, as we really wanted to avoid spending as much money as possible. But there was no way that I could not go to the city to repeat the events for last week's Bears game, lest I anger the football gods resulting in a Bears loss. That was not something I wanted on my shoulders, so obviously I was going to Chicago for the game.
So anyways, I got to the city around 6 on Saturday night. I went to get beer as soon as possible so I could keep the evening as cheap as possible. So, I'd had probably something like 8 beers before we went out (wow, did I really have that many?) around 10:30 or 11. We went to this bar and I have no idea what its name was, but we stayed for approximately 10 minutes before leaving.
Here is where the night took a turn into the bizarre. We had already planned on going to the Hange Uppe, which is somewhere we never go. Of course, there is a reason for not going there. They play a lot of 80's music there, and sometimes you can be in the mood for that, which is fine. I've been there before. But a lot of the time the crowd there is less than desirable. So it's good to go if you're pretty trashed.
Anyways, we walk in and we go downstairs, which is where they play the 80's music. First we go the closest bar to get drinks. I think we were pretty much all under the assumption from the moment we walked in that none of us were drunk enough to be there. But, it was our choice regardless.
The air was thick with B.O. Or feet. Or puke. Or perhaps a mixture of all of them. With our drinks all in hand, our group (there were 5 of us, 3 dudes, two ladies) made our way to an open area on the dance floor. This area also happened to be directly in front of the stage area, where a group of uglies was dancing when we walked in, but they had been replaced by a group of women in their late 30's to mid 40's. Well, soon enough, we found out the most likely reason that this particular area of the dance floor was open.
We make our way to the spot, and before all of us even get there, Dumpy is grabbed by one of the ladies on stage and given a kiss on the lips. Immediately after that, the lady next to her grabs Dumpy and kisses him on the lips. While that was going on, the first kisser grabbed the Balsan and gave him a kiss on the lips and tried to shove a piece of ice (and probably her tongue) into his mouth. Following that, one of them grabs Muffy and starts going in for a kiss before Muffy pulls away and hides behind me. She wanted none of that apparently. Then, anywhere between like 5 and 45 seconds passes and then finally one taps Toots on the shoulder and asks her to go up there for a kiss as well, but she apparently wanted none of that. I mean I don't understand why.
The entire time, there I'm standing, not too far from the stage, but I'm watching all of this happen and I'm also trying to avoid eye contact with any of these ladies who might grab me and try to kiss me. And you know what? Not one of them tried at all. So, uh, that's not spirit-breaking or anything. I mean, these older, probably drunk ladies grabbed the two dudes and then the two chicks, and then didn't even bother giving me a passing glance. It was like they made the conscious decision. They looked at me and thought, "You know what, we're drunk, but even we have standards for who we'll randomly kiss on the lips while at the Hange Uppe dancing to 80's music." And I think that's what hurts most of all.
Well, as I tried to put the pieces of my life back together following that horrible rejection for the rest of the night, there wasn't too much of note that I can remember. I'm not exactly sure what time it was that we left, but we ended up going to El Burrito, where we hadn't been in a long time. I remember at various times throughout the night pointing out that I had no cash and opening up my wallet to prove it. Then I made various phone calls throughout the night and attempted to play "Hey There Delilah" while on the phone and drunk, but, surprisingly, it didn't work out so well. We'll just assume that it was because we couldn't remember the words and that was the only thing wrong with it though.
Anyways, that was pretty much where the night ended. Shortly after the abridged version of the song we got off the phone and passed out. Following that was the AWESOME Bears game on Sunday, and that's just about it.
The Bears are in the Super Bowl, so it was a super fucking awesome weekend.
So anyways, I got to the city around 6 on Saturday night. I went to get beer as soon as possible so I could keep the evening as cheap as possible. So, I'd had probably something like 8 beers before we went out (wow, did I really have that many?) around 10:30 or 11. We went to this bar and I have no idea what its name was, but we stayed for approximately 10 minutes before leaving.
Here is where the night took a turn into the bizarre. We had already planned on going to the Hange Uppe, which is somewhere we never go. Of course, there is a reason for not going there. They play a lot of 80's music there, and sometimes you can be in the mood for that, which is fine. I've been there before. But a lot of the time the crowd there is less than desirable. So it's good to go if you're pretty trashed.
Anyways, we walk in and we go downstairs, which is where they play the 80's music. First we go the closest bar to get drinks. I think we were pretty much all under the assumption from the moment we walked in that none of us were drunk enough to be there. But, it was our choice regardless.
The air was thick with B.O. Or feet. Or puke. Or perhaps a mixture of all of them. With our drinks all in hand, our group (there were 5 of us, 3 dudes, two ladies) made our way to an open area on the dance floor. This area also happened to be directly in front of the stage area, where a group of uglies was dancing when we walked in, but they had been replaced by a group of women in their late 30's to mid 40's. Well, soon enough, we found out the most likely reason that this particular area of the dance floor was open.
We make our way to the spot, and before all of us even get there, Dumpy is grabbed by one of the ladies on stage and given a kiss on the lips. Immediately after that, the lady next to her grabs Dumpy and kisses him on the lips. While that was going on, the first kisser grabbed the Balsan and gave him a kiss on the lips and tried to shove a piece of ice (and probably her tongue) into his mouth. Following that, one of them grabs Muffy and starts going in for a kiss before Muffy pulls away and hides behind me. She wanted none of that apparently. Then, anywhere between like 5 and 45 seconds passes and then finally one taps Toots on the shoulder and asks her to go up there for a kiss as well, but she apparently wanted none of that. I mean I don't understand why.
The entire time, there I'm standing, not too far from the stage, but I'm watching all of this happen and I'm also trying to avoid eye contact with any of these ladies who might grab me and try to kiss me. And you know what? Not one of them tried at all. So, uh, that's not spirit-breaking or anything. I mean, these older, probably drunk ladies grabbed the two dudes and then the two chicks, and then didn't even bother giving me a passing glance. It was like they made the conscious decision. They looked at me and thought, "You know what, we're drunk, but even we have standards for who we'll randomly kiss on the lips while at the Hange Uppe dancing to 80's music." And I think that's what hurts most of all.
Well, as I tried to put the pieces of my life back together following that horrible rejection for the rest of the night, there wasn't too much of note that I can remember. I'm not exactly sure what time it was that we left, but we ended up going to El Burrito, where we hadn't been in a long time. I remember at various times throughout the night pointing out that I had no cash and opening up my wallet to prove it. Then I made various phone calls throughout the night and attempted to play "Hey There Delilah" while on the phone and drunk, but, surprisingly, it didn't work out so well. We'll just assume that it was because we couldn't remember the words and that was the only thing wrong with it though.
Anyways, that was pretty much where the night ended. Shortly after the abridged version of the song we got off the phone and passed out. Following that was the AWESOME Bears game on Sunday, and that's just about it.
The Bears are in the Super Bowl, so it was a super fucking awesome weekend.
Labels: I got rejected by being left out, older ladies are insane, weekend
posted by Jtrouble at 3:00 PM
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