A new coach for the Cubs
Because I'm terrified that the Cubs are going to make a retarded choice to be their new coach, I'm going to list the criteria that I think are necessary for the new coach to possess in order for the team to be better next year.
1.) Don't be retarded This was a big problem for the Cubs this year in that everyone of their coaches seemed to be drinking retard juice. Sidenote: I think retard juice is different than gatorade. But Dusty was just a bad coach and made excuses for everything, and I'm not sure he really understood the game of baseball.
2.) Don't be stubborn One of the biggest problems with a lot of older coaches is that they're entirely set on their ways. This is one reason bringing in Joe Girardi would be helpful, as he is a new manager. Guys think that if it worked once back in 1992, it will work in 2006. That's not really the case. Just ask Andy MacPhail (oh snap!). You have to be willing to change your approach, which is exactly what you would ask of your players.
3.) Please, please play the young guys I'm glad that the Cubs recognized that by focusing on drafting pitching, they haven't been able to draft good position players, and player development just blew nuts. Part of this was that for about the past 8 Cubs coaches (mainly just Don Baylor and Dusty Baker, who were very similar if I might add), refused to play the young guys. If a guy goes out and goes 3-4, 3-5, let him play the next day. If a guy goes in a 1-14 slump, don't give him a month off.
4.) Teach the young guys This goes hand in hand with 3. They haven't played a 162 game season. They're not used to playing so often with so much pressure. Try and help them to deal with it. Don't just say "Hank Aaron was great," and walk away. Also, if a dude is bad at defense, maybe try getting him to practice instead of just taking him out at the end of games. Again I refer you to Brant Brown. Why is it that I think Jim Riggleman was the last decent coach we had to develop talent? But anyways, the new "interim" CEO said his focus will be on building the team through the farm system, so like it or not, you may need to play young guys. Might as well accept it and help them improve.
5.) Don't make excuses I'm ok if maybe one game you lose you go out and say we just didn't catch any breaks tonight. But if you say it after every game of an 8 game losing streak I will rip out your tongue and strangle you with it. Or someone should. Feel free to call out a player for missing a sign, making an error, whatever, but ultimately, it's probably going to come back to you (or at least it should) not having coached/prepared them well enough. And if you want to accept all of the blame for it, then so be it.
6.) Understand baseball This would seem obvious, but I just don't think it is any more. I don't see why coaches don't like the principle of getting on base. I also don't see why they're upset with a dude hitting .300, but only hitting 15 homers, while still knocking in 80, as opposed to a guy hitting .280, hitting 20-25 homers, and still only knocking in 85. I could give two shits about how many homers a dude has as long as he can get on base and hit with runners in scoring position. It's called how you fucking win games. I get it and I don't even get paid to get it.
All of these things should seem pretty obvious, but for some reason they aren't. Also, I hope that during a search for a new manager, Jim Hendry doesn't just look at a guy's record and World Series history and pick him. But, of course, it's the laziest option, so it's probably the most likely. I get the feeling that the Cubs will end up with a guy who's probably similar to Dusty in their approach to the game, but who will at least install a set of rules and won't be afraid to call out a player. So the team will have the same losing record, but no one will be happy. So here's to hoping they only get a 2 year deal.
1.) Don't be retarded This was a big problem for the Cubs this year in that everyone of their coaches seemed to be drinking retard juice. Sidenote: I think retard juice is different than gatorade. But Dusty was just a bad coach and made excuses for everything, and I'm not sure he really understood the game of baseball.
2.) Don't be stubborn One of the biggest problems with a lot of older coaches is that they're entirely set on their ways. This is one reason bringing in Joe Girardi would be helpful, as he is a new manager. Guys think that if it worked once back in 1992, it will work in 2006. That's not really the case. Just ask Andy MacPhail (oh snap!). You have to be willing to change your approach, which is exactly what you would ask of your players.
3.) Please, please play the young guys I'm glad that the Cubs recognized that by focusing on drafting pitching, they haven't been able to draft good position players, and player development just blew nuts. Part of this was that for about the past 8 Cubs coaches (mainly just Don Baylor and Dusty Baker, who were very similar if I might add), refused to play the young guys. If a guy goes out and goes 3-4, 3-5, let him play the next day. If a guy goes in a 1-14 slump, don't give him a month off.
4.) Teach the young guys This goes hand in hand with 3. They haven't played a 162 game season. They're not used to playing so often with so much pressure. Try and help them to deal with it. Don't just say "Hank Aaron was great," and walk away. Also, if a dude is bad at defense, maybe try getting him to practice instead of just taking him out at the end of games. Again I refer you to Brant Brown. Why is it that I think Jim Riggleman was the last decent coach we had to develop talent? But anyways, the new "interim" CEO said his focus will be on building the team through the farm system, so like it or not, you may need to play young guys. Might as well accept it and help them improve.
5.) Don't make excuses I'm ok if maybe one game you lose you go out and say we just didn't catch any breaks tonight. But if you say it after every game of an 8 game losing streak I will rip out your tongue and strangle you with it. Or someone should. Feel free to call out a player for missing a sign, making an error, whatever, but ultimately, it's probably going to come back to you (or at least it should) not having coached/prepared them well enough. And if you want to accept all of the blame for it, then so be it.
6.) Understand baseball This would seem obvious, but I just don't think it is any more. I don't see why coaches don't like the principle of getting on base. I also don't see why they're upset with a dude hitting .300, but only hitting 15 homers, while still knocking in 80, as opposed to a guy hitting .280, hitting 20-25 homers, and still only knocking in 85. I could give two shits about how many homers a dude has as long as he can get on base and hit with runners in scoring position. It's called how you fucking win games. I get it and I don't even get paid to get it.
All of these things should seem pretty obvious, but for some reason they aren't. Also, I hope that during a search for a new manager, Jim Hendry doesn't just look at a guy's record and World Series history and pick him. But, of course, it's the laziest option, so it's probably the most likely. I get the feeling that the Cubs will end up with a guy who's probably similar to Dusty in their approach to the game, but who will at least install a set of rules and won't be afraid to call out a player. So the team will have the same losing record, but no one will be happy. So here's to hoping they only get a 2 year deal.
posted by Jtrouble at 4:01 PM
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