Notes from a meeting

In high school I would occasionally pass the time writing myself little "Note to self's" a la Norm MacDonald. Because I was falling asleep in my meeting today, I decided to pass the time doing so. It was a great flash from the past:

Note to self - No lunch and 5 hours of sleep and 2 hour meetings make me very tired. Only 30 minutes in, out of ideas (almost) for staying awake.

Note to self - Time seems to be mocking me. It's making glaciers look like cheetahs. I'll get the last laugh time. I've developed a method of time travel. And it's so easy. All you need are copious amounts of alcohol. Patent Pending.

Note to self - How many times can I hear the word robust this week? Apparently never enough. (note: I heard it like 14 more times from that point on)

Note to self - We need to get through 200 slides in 2 hours. 40 miutes in and we're throughn 32. Looks like we'll be having another meeting next week. (I didn't try to make them all funny)

Note to self - Watch was a wise investment. However, trying to stay awake by seeing if you can count to 60 seconds in exactly a minute may not be so smart. You may start to nod off around 40, thus losing count.

Note to self - Stomach is eating itself. I wish I'd had time for lunch before this meeting. I bet a beer would help. I'll shotgun one over lunch.

Note to self - Just remembered in high school my chemistry teacher said I looked like a drowned rat. I guess sshe would have rather had me not shower after P.E. Go back and punch her in the back of the head for making me hate showering.

Note to self - Bathroom smelled like burnt hair and dirty diapers. I noticed those sanitary seat cover despensers over the toilet and realized I was in the WOMEN'S BATHROOM. Not really, but wouldn't that have been crazy? (It really smelled that horrible though.)

Note to self - Picture of robot in presentation was very Asian looking, and when I say very I mean the stereotypical Asian man with glasses and buckteeth. I'm offended. Actually, I'm not. I love stereotypes. Such a time-saver.