The bane of my existence
People. I hate people so much. Now I'm not one of those shut-in, hates to be social kind of people who hates everyone who doesn't have the exactly same interests in bug histology and dungeons and dragons. No, I'm one of those people who's really easy-going, loves sports, funny and smart stuff (including people getting hit in the groin), and of course I love drinking. So I would assume it's fairly easy for me to get along with people. But there are so many people I hate. Mainly, people in general. So here is some poorly organized list of why.
1.) Impatient people. I used to be a cashier at Target. And you cannot imagine how much I hated it. Dealing with people just makes me shudder. I just did it senior year of college so I could afford to go out and get shitcanned on weekends though. And, as luck would have it, I had Fridays and Saturday nights off. Of course I went to work very hungover many Saturday mornings, but this has been a giant digression.
I was very quick about doing my job. I know how much people hate waiting in line and whatnot, so I was fast. However, there was very little small talk. I would say hi, fake a smile occasionally, then go about my business. I really enjoyed when people would complain about how long I was taking, and then I would have to wait for THEM to write a check, sign their name, whatever. And they never noticed that they needed to do something. And if I interrupted their conversation I was rude. Also, rather than argue with them over prices, I just changed the price to whatever they said they 'saw'. "Oh, you found these sheets in the dollar section with no other sheets? Well hell, they're a dollar then. LEAVE!" My favorite thing about these fuckers was when they would check the receipt. Now, occasionally I scanned something twice, but I noticed immediately and took it off (I was fucking good). Still, they would look at the price. Apparently people don't understand sales tax. This also falls into the stupid people I hate. You're in a hurry, but you still want to make sure to not pay an extra 43 cents. Get out of my face.
a.) Subgroup: Because I hated everything about that job except getting paid for basically nothing, I pretty much remember everything I hated about it vividly. So allow me to bitch for a second. I promise this won't all be about Target customers. One person told me I need to go back to bagging school. I very nearly stabbed her in the jaw. "Oh, you're right. Why don't you get back here and bag your own shit bitch. While you're at it, just stay for the rest of the day and bag the rest of my shit while I get paid for it." Did I say I hated that job?
2.) Stupid people. There's not a whole lot I can say here. Pretty much everyone is stupid. I'll try to elaborate a little though. I love the people who will continuously harass someone for being, say, selfish or inconsiderate, and then they turn around and do THE EXACT SAME THING. Then, when confronted about it, they get all defensive because of how immature it is that you're pointing that out. I hate stupid people so much I'm about to rip out my hair just thinking about it, and I'm by myself at work!
3.) Drivers. Why is it that no one can drive? Last week I was cut off by this dude trying to make a left turn from the lane next to me, where I was in the left turn lane. His lane was not a left turn lane. But there he went, turning left. Ok, I guess I can see it if it was a mistake or he had no idea where he was going or whatever. Then we get to the next stoplight, where there are 2 left turn lanes. Well, he refused to get in either one, and instead created his own left turn lane! Are you kidding me?? I thought about following him and bashing his head into the curb, but I had to get back to work.
I also love when people cut me off to drive 10 mph slower than the speed limit. And then I check my rearview mirror to see no one behind me. You know what? Thanks for cutting me off. I'm sure all of the invisible drivers behind me are glad that you didn't get into an invisible accident by waiting for an opening to pull into traffic.
This may have been a terrible idea. My eyes are about to explode out of my head.
4.) People who demand respect. Let me clarify this a little bit, it's one thing to deserve respect based on your actions. It's another thing to continually demand respect from other people you continue to belittle for absolutely no reason. Oh, you're right, please, walk all over me, I'll respect you for it. How dare I stand up to you? I'm way out of line. I respect you for being a giant hate-filled bitch and I do not want to make a necklace out of your teeth.
I've gotta take a break or I literally will have a heart attack. I may or may not add to this list at a later point. But it won't be good for my blood pressure if I do, so I hope everyone appreciates the risk I'm putting myself at.
1.) Impatient people. I used to be a cashier at Target. And you cannot imagine how much I hated it. Dealing with people just makes me shudder. I just did it senior year of college so I could afford to go out and get shitcanned on weekends though. And, as luck would have it, I had Fridays and Saturday nights off. Of course I went to work very hungover many Saturday mornings, but this has been a giant digression.
I was very quick about doing my job. I know how much people hate waiting in line and whatnot, so I was fast. However, there was very little small talk. I would say hi, fake a smile occasionally, then go about my business. I really enjoyed when people would complain about how long I was taking, and then I would have to wait for THEM to write a check, sign their name, whatever. And they never noticed that they needed to do something. And if I interrupted their conversation I was rude. Also, rather than argue with them over prices, I just changed the price to whatever they said they 'saw'. "Oh, you found these sheets in the dollar section with no other sheets? Well hell, they're a dollar then. LEAVE!" My favorite thing about these fuckers was when they would check the receipt. Now, occasionally I scanned something twice, but I noticed immediately and took it off (I was fucking good). Still, they would look at the price. Apparently people don't understand sales tax. This also falls into the stupid people I hate. You're in a hurry, but you still want to make sure to not pay an extra 43 cents. Get out of my face.
a.) Subgroup: Because I hated everything about that job except getting paid for basically nothing, I pretty much remember everything I hated about it vividly. So allow me to bitch for a second. I promise this won't all be about Target customers. One person told me I need to go back to bagging school. I very nearly stabbed her in the jaw. "Oh, you're right. Why don't you get back here and bag your own shit bitch. While you're at it, just stay for the rest of the day and bag the rest of my shit while I get paid for it." Did I say I hated that job?
2.) Stupid people. There's not a whole lot I can say here. Pretty much everyone is stupid. I'll try to elaborate a little though. I love the people who will continuously harass someone for being, say, selfish or inconsiderate, and then they turn around and do THE EXACT SAME THING. Then, when confronted about it, they get all defensive because of how immature it is that you're pointing that out. I hate stupid people so much I'm about to rip out my hair just thinking about it, and I'm by myself at work!
3.) Drivers. Why is it that no one can drive? Last week I was cut off by this dude trying to make a left turn from the lane next to me, where I was in the left turn lane. His lane was not a left turn lane. But there he went, turning left. Ok, I guess I can see it if it was a mistake or he had no idea where he was going or whatever. Then we get to the next stoplight, where there are 2 left turn lanes. Well, he refused to get in either one, and instead created his own left turn lane! Are you kidding me?? I thought about following him and bashing his head into the curb, but I had to get back to work.
I also love when people cut me off to drive 10 mph slower than the speed limit. And then I check my rearview mirror to see no one behind me. You know what? Thanks for cutting me off. I'm sure all of the invisible drivers behind me are glad that you didn't get into an invisible accident by waiting for an opening to pull into traffic.
This may have been a terrible idea. My eyes are about to explode out of my head.
4.) People who demand respect. Let me clarify this a little bit, it's one thing to deserve respect based on your actions. It's another thing to continually demand respect from other people you continue to belittle for absolutely no reason. Oh, you're right, please, walk all over me, I'll respect you for it. How dare I stand up to you? I'm way out of line. I respect you for being a giant hate-filled bitch and I do not want to make a necklace out of your teeth.
I've gotta take a break or I literally will have a heart attack. I may or may not add to this list at a later point. But it won't be good for my blood pressure if I do, so I hope everyone appreciates the risk I'm putting myself at.
posted by Jtrouble at 3:03 PM
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