Getting Pey'd bitches

Remember that dude who changed his name to Peyton Manning? That's probably the best thing to happen to him in a long time. He's managed to wring like 5 minutes (ok, maybe like 2 or 3) of fame out of that. And, aside from that, he actually had his trip paid for out of Decatur. I wish I got paid to leave Decatur when I lived there. Actually I did once. I had to go to this conference and I got paid for the mileage there and back. That was pretty sweet.

But, there are a number of reasons to get out of Decatur. First, there's the smell. Holy shit what a smell there is. I lived on the far side from ADM (the source of the smell) and there were days when it would start smelling by my apartment. I couldn't ever sleep with my windows open because I was worried about my place reeking of burning soybeans when I woke up. And then I'd never be able to get that damn smell out.

Then of course there's the crime. Oh, the crime. I would regularly turn on the news, of which there was no local station in Decatur (if I remember correctly), and see a story of a murder or something. I lived on a pretty safe end of Decatur. One day a state investigator asked me if I knew someone who used to live in my building (I did not know him).

These are just two of the reasons that getting out of Decatur, regardless of why, is awesome.

So, uh, with that, let's see who's made the list this week:

New to the list:

"Super" "Bowls." So this past week was the Super Bowl, right? Well, my dad told me that he got tickets to the Super Bowl and he asked me to go with him. So we're driving, and I'm thinking that we're headed to the airport. This was of course Sunday morning, but I decided to trust my dad anyways. So we're driving, and we pull into a parking lot in Peru, IL. The building says Super Bowl on it. It's a bowling alley. I doubt this is any sort of a chain of bowling alleys, but I'm sure a lot of clever assholes named their bowling alley this. Well, you bastards are on the list. Super Bowl my ass.

Snow. On Tuesday it snowed probably between 4-6 inches here. Peoria is grossly incapable of clearing snow away. It stopped snowing before 5 on Tuesday night, yet Wednesday when I drove to work, there was still like 2 inches of snow on the road. Just taking the night off people? Regardless, the snow should know to stay away. It was cute when you snowed 2 inches, but cut this bullshit out. You're on notice.

Megabus. I'm not exactly sure what this is, but Chicago is the hub and then it goes to a bunch of cities for relatively low prices or something. Now, it's bad enough that Amtrak doesn't go directly to Peoria, Megabus doesn't either. But, it does travel to a bunch of other major metropolises. Metropoli. Metropoles. Cities like Toledo. I can just imagine that bus being sold out day in, day out. So many people looking to leave the doldrums of Chicago to get back to that sweet center of the world, TOLEDO! Seriously? Toledo? Come on Megabus, you're better than that. You're on notice!

Falling off this week:

President Bush. Meh, out of sight out of mind. I seriously didn't ever hear anything about his visit to Peoria. I just hope at some point I can see it being mocked on national television in some manner.

Indianpolis Colts. We gave you a gift of a shitty football game. You didn't win it, the Bears lost it. And I blame conservative playcalling on all fronts.

This is our country commercial. I definitely still despise you, but since football season is over, I expect to see much, much less of you. Now I just have to deal with that fucking song for the rest of my life, including John Edwards's presidential campaign and the press tour for John Mellencamp. That bastard.