News
Sometimes I think I should write for the AP. Not that I have any sort of journalistic experience, or anything like that (although I did write a couple articles for the high school 'paper' senior year). But, as I was perusing the headlines on CNN today, I really started to wonder how much journalistic experience it takes to write these articles. Especially the entertainment articles.
'Real Borat' Seeks Apology. Now if this article was under the Entertainment heading on the website, I probably wouldn't have any problem with it. But, it is not under the Entertainment heading. It is under the Top Stories heading. Maybe I'm just biased, since I think the dude the article is about is lying his Turkish pants off, and he just wants to get rich quick. But how is this any sort of important news? Also, right above this story under the Top Stories heading are headlines about Britney's sex-tape lawsuit dismissed and the Culture Club thinks Boy George has gone 'too far'. Real hard-hitting journalism.
Duct tape no magical cure for warts, study finds. Ok, maybe that's an old remedy or something that people used to use. But, how does this warrant news at all. I'll point out that this was under the Health heading, so it's not as bad as the 'Top Stories.' But I consider this fairly obvious. I mean, everyone knows about the healing ways of duct tape. Duct tape mixed with chicken soup kills mice and the common cold. Put duct tape under your bed to cure a tooth ache. Duct tape is a great stain remover, but only if used with Tide. But removing warts? Also, if, in the title, it says 'magical cure', do you really need to even do the story, let alone report on it?
Let me try to write a story like this. Rainbows are no magical cure for AIDS, study finds. Peoria, IL -- A group of people with common sense in Peoria, Illinois came to the consensus today after months and months of research that looking at rainbows in the sky does not actually magically cure AIDS, despite public opinion to the contrary. "We were all just thinking, there is absolutely no scientific grounds behind this, so we should try and do a 'study' on it, and then maybe we could get some sort of national recognition for this," said Mr. John Obvious, head person with a brain of the study.
But their studies don't end there. "We plan to do many studies on things that have absolutely no scientific grounds whatsoever, as long as jackasses like you come to report on them. Right now we're about to start wearing dark clothes actually making you thinner, and we also have many backup plans for nonsensical gibberish as well." I just hope that gets picked up by the AP. That would be awesome. See? I could totally write articles like that. I even have journalistic integrity, but don't ask me to prove it.
'Real Borat' Seeks Apology. Now if this article was under the Entertainment heading on the website, I probably wouldn't have any problem with it. But, it is not under the Entertainment heading. It is under the Top Stories heading. Maybe I'm just biased, since I think the dude the article is about is lying his Turkish pants off, and he just wants to get rich quick. But how is this any sort of important news? Also, right above this story under the Top Stories heading are headlines about Britney's sex-tape lawsuit dismissed and the Culture Club thinks Boy George has gone 'too far'. Real hard-hitting journalism.
Duct tape no magical cure for warts, study finds. Ok, maybe that's an old remedy or something that people used to use. But, how does this warrant news at all. I'll point out that this was under the Health heading, so it's not as bad as the 'Top Stories.' But I consider this fairly obvious. I mean, everyone knows about the healing ways of duct tape. Duct tape mixed with chicken soup kills mice and the common cold. Put duct tape under your bed to cure a tooth ache. Duct tape is a great stain remover, but only if used with Tide. But removing warts? Also, if, in the title, it says 'magical cure', do you really need to even do the story, let alone report on it?
Let me try to write a story like this. Rainbows are no magical cure for AIDS, study finds. Peoria, IL -- A group of people with common sense in Peoria, Illinois came to the consensus today after months and months of research that looking at rainbows in the sky does not actually magically cure AIDS, despite public opinion to the contrary. "We were all just thinking, there is absolutely no scientific grounds behind this, so we should try and do a 'study' on it, and then maybe we could get some sort of national recognition for this," said Mr. John Obvious, head person with a brain of the study.
But their studies don't end there. "We plan to do many studies on things that have absolutely no scientific grounds whatsoever, as long as jackasses like you come to report on them. Right now we're about to start wearing dark clothes actually making you thinner, and we also have many backup plans for nonsensical gibberish as well." I just hope that gets picked up by the AP. That would be awesome. See? I could totally write articles like that. I even have journalistic integrity, but don't ask me to prove it.
posted by Jtrouble at 10:44 AM
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