Alternative food options
In case you've not seen this I thought I would bring it to your attention. We are facing a terrible situation here people! We'll be out of seafood by 2048!
As this is so quickly approaching, and there's obviously nothing we can do to turn this trend around, like replenishing the world's supply of seafood or anything outlandish like that, I thought that I would list some feasible options that could be considered the next 'seafood' if you will.
1.) Stingrays. Those bastards are gunning for us and we obviously need to do something about it. And since they're not considered seafood now* they would be an alternative. By the time 2048 rolls around, we'll have had plenty of time harvesting them for their meat and perfecting the perfect ways to cook and season them. Tell me fried stingray doesn't sound good. You can't, that's right. Also, should they revolt before 2048 rolls around, maybe we could torture them a little bit before we kill and eat them.
2.) Aliens. As we all know, the aliens will be here by 2048. Or, at the very least, we will have travelled to the farthest reaches of the universe. I can only assume that this will happen in the next 2 years or so. So we go, we start hunting aliens for game, and then we discover that they taste great also. Thus, aliens could be considered the seafood of space, since there are so many different varieties of aliens and stuff. Or we could just call them skyfood or spacefood.
3.) Sand. We have so many resources that scientist losers say we're going through too rapidly . Like trees and water and oxygen, whatever those things are needed for. But you know what we have plenty of? Sand, you betcha. Maybe you could throw it in with a ham and make some sort of stew out of it. Or oatmeal or something. I'm pretty sure there's sand in oatmeal as it is. But, of course, the people in the middle east would set fire to that though so us Westerners wouldn't be able to use it. And then the President would get his hands on a huge stockpile but only give it to a company that his Vice President used to control. This, in turn, would drive up the price of sand per pound. Maybe sand isn't such a great idea after all.
4.) Soy products. Wait, I take that back. 40 years from now soy products will still suck and have the texture of chewing paper mixed with fat.
5.) People. I know Soylent Green was just a movie, but what if we actually started making food out of people. And wasn't Soylent Green a cereal? I've only seen like one part of that movie. Anyways, cannibals swear by people, so maybe the rest of us should just give it a shot, that's all I'm saying.
6.) Any of the other 80000000000 things we could possibly eat that won't have run out by 2048.
So, as you can see, our options are pretty limited, but should 2048 come before WW III, WWIV, and Armageddon, we still have a couple of viable options.
As this is so quickly approaching, and there's obviously nothing we can do to turn this trend around, like replenishing the world's supply of seafood or anything outlandish like that, I thought that I would list some feasible options that could be considered the next 'seafood' if you will.
1.) Stingrays. Those bastards are gunning for us and we obviously need to do something about it. And since they're not considered seafood now* they would be an alternative. By the time 2048 rolls around, we'll have had plenty of time harvesting them for their meat and perfecting the perfect ways to cook and season them. Tell me fried stingray doesn't sound good. You can't, that's right. Also, should they revolt before 2048 rolls around, maybe we could torture them a little bit before we kill and eat them.
2.) Aliens. As we all know, the aliens will be here by 2048. Or, at the very least, we will have travelled to the farthest reaches of the universe. I can only assume that this will happen in the next 2 years or so. So we go, we start hunting aliens for game, and then we discover that they taste great also. Thus, aliens could be considered the seafood of space, since there are so many different varieties of aliens and stuff. Or we could just call them skyfood or spacefood.
3.) Sand. We have so many resources that scientist losers say we're going through too rapidly . Like trees and water and oxygen, whatever those things are needed for. But you know what we have plenty of? Sand, you betcha. Maybe you could throw it in with a ham and make some sort of stew out of it. Or oatmeal or something. I'm pretty sure there's sand in oatmeal as it is. But, of course, the people in the middle east would set fire to that though so us Westerners wouldn't be able to use it. And then the President would get his hands on a huge stockpile but only give it to a company that his Vice President used to control. This, in turn, would drive up the price of sand per pound. Maybe sand isn't such a great idea after all.
4.) Soy products. Wait, I take that back. 40 years from now soy products will still suck and have the texture of chewing paper mixed with fat.
5.) People. I know Soylent Green was just a movie, but what if we actually started making food out of people. And wasn't Soylent Green a cereal? I've only seen like one part of that movie. Anyways, cannibals swear by people, so maybe the rest of us should just give it a shot, that's all I'm saying.
6.) Any of the other 80000000000 things we could possibly eat that won't have run out by 2048.
So, as you can see, our options are pretty limited, but should 2048 come before WW III, WWIV, and Armageddon, we still have a couple of viable options.
posted by Jtrouble at 4:44 PM
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