Happy Pot Day Bitches

I would say that my fondest memory of 420 would have to be from my senior year of high school. I went to a small high school, and it was located on the edge of a really rural town, so we were surrounded by a lot of cornfields and stuff.

For the last period of the day, I had Advanced Biology, and our teacher was pretty young, so she was pretty informal. She told us that we could either stay inside and take notes (it was a Friday, and that actually makes me feel pretty fucking old) or we could go outside and do roadside cleanup for the Adopt-A-Highway bullshit. We chose the latter since it was a nice day. Well, at one point while we were out there, our teacher told us to be on the lookout for an unmarked white van. Apparently, one had driven past the elementary school (very nearby) two or three times and had been reported to the police. So our teacher was apparently cool with us getting kidnapped and taken to be sodomized as long as she didn't have to put together some sort of after-school or weekend roadside cleanup activity. But, hell, we were outside, and it was a pretty nice day, so we complained, but we could have complained a lot more. We lost 2 kids out of our class that day, but I'll be damned if that road wasn't slightly cleaner by the time we finished.

So let's see who or what is on notice this week:

New this week:

Technology. FUUUUUUUUCK. I've tried typing this bitch out twice now, and it keeps fucking closing on me. Thanks for that technology. Add to the fact that my TV screen keeps resizing itself at the edges. It's difficult to explain, but basically I see it happen and I begin to think I'm having seizures. Then I realize that my TV is just shitting out on me. Seriously, technology has done nothing but tread on me for the past month at least. Fuck you technology.

Jacque Jones. Nothing too personal here Jacque, but we don't need you any more. We didn't really need you last season, since you really didn't do anything too spectacular, and you certainly didn't increase your trade value (somehow), but we definitely don't need you now. You're the odd man out in our crowded outfield, which could be a compliment, since it says we think too much of you to put you on the bench. Yeah, just consider it a compliment, and not the fact that you're not good enough. But you're on notice regardless. Get off the Cubs.

Work. I'm fucking working overtime on a Friday. I don't know what the deal is, but for the past three fucking weeks on Friday (Thursday during Vegas week) right around 1pm is when I get fucking swamped with shit to do. Thankfully I don't have shit going on till later tonight, otherwise I'd be hellapissed about it. Regardless, work, you're treading on me. Fuck you, you're on notice.

Tires. Tires, you're preventing Meg from coming to Peoria. Specifically, fuck you out of stock tires. You should remain in stock at all times, and you should come up with a system that will replenish yourself if you should be nearing the end of your in-stockedness. And what's with that blowing out shit? Bullshit I tell you.

Best Buy. Hey, still no word on my iPod. Well, I guess that's incorrect, since I STILL DON'T HAVE IT. I NEED MY IPOD. GIVE IT TO ME. Fuck you and your shitty-for-the-most-part warranty system Best Buy.

Employers. Still no job in Chicago. Fuck you, I need one. Peoria is killing my will to live, and specifically, my job is kiling my will to live. Hire me already. Please, seriously, I'm dying over here.

Peoria. IS KILLING MY WILL TO LIVE. It's fucking in the middle of nothing too. There's no direct way to get anywhere except Champaign or Indianapolis from Peoria. Oh, I can get to Galesburg??? OUTSTANDING. Why would I want to go to Chicago if I could go to GALESBURG?? And there's no Amtrak in Peoria either. What's that about. Oh, I could take a charter bus that will take me to either of two airports or the mall in Schaumburg. What a sweet deal. Seriously Peoria, get your shit in gear.

Dropping off:

Weather. It's about time you got your shitass in gear. I don't have time for this cold bullshit. It should be 72 and sunny from here on out. It can get slightly warmer, but no cooler. Otherwise...

Hangovers. I can't stay mad at you. I mean, I haven't felt like puking from alcohol since last Tuesday. Besides, you mean I probably had fun the night before, and I'm definitely going to feel better than you at some point in the future.

So that's all I've got for this week. I fucked Blogger over and still managed to post this despite them, so I feel that's definitely a personal victory. So who wants to get fucked up.