So long Chief; we hardly knew ye

I discovered this morning that today is the day that the University of Illinois beloved Chief Illiniwek will unfortunately be retired. We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later because of the jackasses at the NCAA, and we all knew it was going to happen this year, but no one was sure when the Chief would be put to rest.

Let me explain my relationship with the Chief. I didn't go to Illinois, but I'd been a fan of Illini sports since junior high, back when Kevin Hardy and Simeon Rice were terrorizing opposing Big Ten QB's, and back when Kiwane Garris was controlling the Illinois offense. Back when Jarrod Gee was Jerry. I really wanted to go to a basketball game, but I live a solid 2.5 hours from Champaign. Also, my parents weren't alumni, and they probably didn't think it was really worth it to drive 5 hours for 2 hours of entertainment. Well, college entertainment at least. And maybe they were trying to shelter me from the profane chants (not that they happen a lot at U of I games, but it's not like my parents would know anyways).

I ended up going to Illinois Wesleyan University, although one of my best friends went to the U of I. After I went on temporary hiatus from my girlfriend freshman year, my dad asked if I would be interested in going to an Illini game in Chicago. One of his friends had a son who went to U of I, and they were both avid Illini fans. So I went, and this was the first time I'd seen or even heard of the halftime performance. It was something to behold. Also, my best friend was in the Orange Krush, so he was in Chicago and I saw him at the game. He got to go out and stand around the court while the Chief performed. I was in awe. I got chills.

Cut to about a month later, and my friend invited me down for the weekend. He was in the Farm House, so I got to discover (sort of) frat life at U of I before even experiencing it at IWU (I was kind of a turd freshman year). He managed to get me a ticket to the Sunday game of Illinois vs. Michigan State, and I was going to be in the Orange Krush.

I had no idea what I was about to get into. Being such a huge Illini fan, living and dying with the team's performance, and, frankly, swearing way too much for a normal person at my TV while watching games, this was an amazing experience for me. The Illini ended up losing, and they blew their home winning streak that game, as Marcus Taylor lit up the Illini. No matter though, he left after his freshman year, and who knows what he's doing now. Maybe cleaning toilets. Or making millions overseas.


Regardless, at halftime, I actually GOT to run out onto the court and watch the Chief perform. It was amazing to see it so closely, and then to look up at the alumni in the upper decks and see them just as captivated. Again, I got chills. Well, to commemorate the trip, I bought myself a Chief shirt celebrating 75 years of the Chief (which a different girlfriend later bogarted and never gave back).

I ended up dating a girl at U of I for a while sophomore year, so I went to like 3 football games that fall, never leaving before the Chief performed.

And now they're taking the Chief away. I thought it was a ballsy move by the university to keep the Chief around all year after basically being told to get rid of him.

But who exactly is the Chief offending? There is no single tribe that he was based on, and the dance was researched and based on dances of various tribes. Because there is no one single tribe that the Chief can be attributed to, when Illinois was told they must get rid of the Chief, no one tribe could come forward in support, the way that the Seminole tribe did for Florida State.

And what's with uneducated people stepping forward, making Illinois out to be extremely prejudice, hostile and hatefilled? I'm looking at you Bill Plaschke. He wrote an article about how Illinois should get rid of the Chief. Yet he knows little to nothing aside from the name and possibly what the Chief looks like.

So what do the Illini do now that the Chief is gone? Well, they're being extremely classy in removing the dance, keeping the name and giving the symbol to not-for-profit organizations.

Do I agree with this? Under the circumstances, sure. I think it would be better if we could come up with a performance that was legitimately offensive though. I now live in Peoria, IL, hopefully not for much longer, but I'm close to the town of Pekin. The high school was the home of the Chinks. Yes, they were the Pekin Chinks. That is legitimately offensive.

Why not make Illinois the Drunken Irishmen, or the Women's Rights Activists, or the Mexican Laborers? Those are legitimately offensive. But would the NCAA step in and do anything about it?

What the fuck is hostile about the Chief, except for those people who want to get rid of him? Fuck this PC bullshit. I probably wouldn't even care that much, except it's those retarded, ACLU pricks who are probably driving this whole thing. Bring me a legitimate reason Illinois should get rid of the Chief. Is he doing harm to anyone? Washington has the name the Redskins for fucks sake. How is Chief Illiniwek less offensive.

Fuck the NCAA for bowing down to this bullshit, and fuck everyone else who thinks the Chief is offensive. I'll offend you, then we'll see how fucking offensive the Chief is.

Anyways, I can at least be glad that I got to see the Chief perform. So farewell Chief.

Oh, wait, you're right, this is terribly offensive. Look at him, all offensive and stuff. I'm so offended. Jackasses.