Stranded in an airport?
There was this huge blizzard in the CO right? And people are stranded in the airport, and people are saying that they're basically going to be stuck there until TOMORROW at like 12:00pm.
Well, I've spent time stranded in an airport (not for days, but for hours) and I've also been stuck waiting around in an Amtrak station, so I feel like I may be able to give some solid pointers as to how to pass the time.
1. Find a friend. You need to have someone who you can make snide comments to, and someone you can make comments about other people to. This will help time go by quickly, as if you have a friend with you while you're making comments about how someone looks, you don't need to explain their ridiculous travelling attire.
2. Barter. Try to accumulate random shit from other people. Or possibly food, since you'll be stranded for a while. Say, I'll give you 3 of my buttons if you'll give me that little doll. Sidenote: this is especially useful at Christmas in case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping. But, if you have a little cousin/daughter/niece/young child/adult friend who acts way too much like a child for anyone to be entirely comfortable with, you can bring them something when you get off the plane.
3. Gamble. You can gamble on lots of things at the airport. Who is going to be the first person to cry after talking to the people at the ticket counter? How many times will that person cry throughout the time stranded? Which old lady is going to make a racist comment way too loudly? Which old lady is going to get on her cell phone that she's not entirely sure how to work and have an extremely loud conversation, and then look around awkwardly when that conversation is over? Which employee is going to flip out on a customer first? The possibilities are really endless.
4. Make up some sort of game or competition. The outcome of this game can also be gambled on. How many things can you hit that snoring dude with before he wakes up. Whoever gets more wins. Extra points for heavier things. Who can get a stranger to believe the more ludicrous story. For this one, I suggest that you come up with a basic storyline that is generally ridiculous, but then each player has to come up with the details on their own. "Oh, I'm headed home to celebrate Christmas with my Satanist parents. They don't actually live in Dallas, they live well outside of Dallas in a colony that has not yet been recognized by the state of Texas. But they will recognize it. Oh yes. They will, soon enough." See, the details of the story are about the parents, where they live, etc. Really I think that would be an awesome game and I may just start doing that with strangers in general.
5. Read. I'm not going to lie, I can't believe I just suggested people do that. But people are too stupid, and I think reading (and I'm not talking about People, although nothing against anyone I know who reads people (I don't think)) would help that problem. Speaking of, I really want to read the Odd Thomas books. Just saying.
6. Make friends with an employee. If something is going to happen, the employees are going to be just about the first people to know. And if they are attractive it's even better. Because then it's not painful to look at them. And we all know that you're shallow enough to like attractive people more than the uglies. But, uh, as I was saying, employees will be quick to know something. Then you can choose to either repeat that, or slightly exaggerate it, and then play a little game of telephone and see how distorted it is when it gets back to you. Also, the employees may have an inside scoop on someone to ridicule behind their backs.
Hey, it could be a long time before you're able to leave. Gotta do something to pass the time.
Well, I've spent time stranded in an airport (not for days, but for hours) and I've also been stuck waiting around in an Amtrak station, so I feel like I may be able to give some solid pointers as to how to pass the time.
1. Find a friend. You need to have someone who you can make snide comments to, and someone you can make comments about other people to. This will help time go by quickly, as if you have a friend with you while you're making comments about how someone looks, you don't need to explain their ridiculous travelling attire.
2. Barter. Try to accumulate random shit from other people. Or possibly food, since you'll be stranded for a while. Say, I'll give you 3 of my buttons if you'll give me that little doll. Sidenote: this is especially useful at Christmas in case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping. But, if you have a little cousin/daughter/niece/young child/adult friend who acts way too much like a child for anyone to be entirely comfortable with, you can bring them something when you get off the plane.
3. Gamble. You can gamble on lots of things at the airport. Who is going to be the first person to cry after talking to the people at the ticket counter? How many times will that person cry throughout the time stranded? Which old lady is going to make a racist comment way too loudly? Which old lady is going to get on her cell phone that she's not entirely sure how to work and have an extremely loud conversation, and then look around awkwardly when that conversation is over? Which employee is going to flip out on a customer first? The possibilities are really endless.
4. Make up some sort of game or competition. The outcome of this game can also be gambled on. How many things can you hit that snoring dude with before he wakes up. Whoever gets more wins. Extra points for heavier things. Who can get a stranger to believe the more ludicrous story. For this one, I suggest that you come up with a basic storyline that is generally ridiculous, but then each player has to come up with the details on their own. "Oh, I'm headed home to celebrate Christmas with my Satanist parents. They don't actually live in Dallas, they live well outside of Dallas in a colony that has not yet been recognized by the state of Texas. But they will recognize it. Oh yes. They will, soon enough." See, the details of the story are about the parents, where they live, etc. Really I think that would be an awesome game and I may just start doing that with strangers in general.
5. Read. I'm not going to lie, I can't believe I just suggested people do that. But people are too stupid, and I think reading (and I'm not talking about People, although nothing against anyone I know who reads people (I don't think)) would help that problem. Speaking of, I really want to read the Odd Thomas books. Just saying.
6. Make friends with an employee. If something is going to happen, the employees are going to be just about the first people to know. And if they are attractive it's even better. Because then it's not painful to look at them. And we all know that you're shallow enough to like attractive people more than the uglies. But, uh, as I was saying, employees will be quick to know something. Then you can choose to either repeat that, or slightly exaggerate it, and then play a little game of telephone and see how distorted it is when it gets back to you. Also, the employees may have an inside scoop on someone to ridicule behind their backs.
Hey, it could be a long time before you're able to leave. Gotta do something to pass the time.
posted by Jtrouble at 3:03 PM
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