Dusty Baker: Idiot, probably other stuff too
Gone over the weekend of course, and I've had virtually no contact with the Cubs at all. And by that I mean I haven't read anything about them since Friday, and I have absolutely no idea when the last time I saw part of a game was. Of course, I may have drank away the memories of watching the Cubs, but that's besides the point. Anyways, I was reading a Tribune article this morning and thought I'd make some comments on it.
The article was about how Ol' Double Switch seems resigned to just pack it in. Of course, even the title presupposes that Dusty hasn't yet packed it in, which I'm pretty sure he did in May. And, to be fair, he probably started packing it in in June of 2005.
First, Dusty said if he was going to be let go, he'd rather know sooner than later. Well, his contract is up after the game Sunday (only 6 games/losses left in this season!). I'd say if he was going to get an extension, there would have been some sort of discussion about it. Anyways, Jim Hendry, commenting about how it's presumed that Dusty is out, said "Not necessarily."
Jim Hendry, ladies and gentleman, announcing his candidacy for Idiot of the Millenium. How is it not necessarily true?? Do you think everyone has learning disabilities?? And how do you intend to keep your job if you bring back a manager who has only made this team do worse each successive year and you've depleted the farm system? Why can't I stop asking questions? Do you not watch baseball? Have you seen the Cubs play this year? They SUCK. They suck hard. Like a fan in the top of RFK stadium for a Nationals game hard. Also, Hendry is doing Baker no favors by not firing him. Baker has been dragged through shit basically all season due to speculation and whatnot. It's obvious he doesn't want to come back to this. Hopefully it's all sucked a little bit of his will to live, because his managing has sucked a little bit of my will to leave.
Large digression, back to topic though. There were some truly stupid questions asked during this press conference also. But asked if Dusty has a gut feeling he'll be brought back, he said he doesn't allow his gut to feel right now.
That's great. Poor poor Dusty. I'm hoping that Dusty is only talking about his managing status when he says he doesn't let his gut feel. Because every decision I have ever seen him make while 'managing' a game has been inexplicable unless he's having a 'gut feeling.'
Dusty has 'zero' regrets about coming to Chicago. Here's where I beg to differ. I mean, sure he made about $15 million or so for 4 years of 'working.' He basically did nothing for 4 consecutive years while collecting much larger paychecks than I get for actually doing work. But I would think that he would have one regret, and that regret is that now everyone knows that he's such a shitty manager that he most likely won't make that much money again. At least not for a while. Until he can manage a team of only veterans and have them win despite his best efforts to make them suck (like a fan in the top of RFK stadium at a Nationals game).
The article goes on to question how Hendry will evaluate Baker. Apparently Hendry would give no definite answer. I had to stop reading because my eyes actually melted out of my face due to the rage and complete bewilderment of what I was reading. First, what kind of fucking stupid question is that? Second, the fact that I can understand why you would ask the question has me pondering exactly who the bigger idiot is, Hendry or Baker.
Why would you ask that question? Well, obviously Hendry has given Dusty every chance to prove he can do something. Maybe Hendry was just hoping that Dusty would win even a little bit to prove that bringing him in for 4 years wasn't a giant mistake. But apparently Hendry doesn't watch the games. He must not have any idea what baseball is, how the Cubs are doing, any of it. Because there is no other reason that Dusty Baker would have a job right now.
I'm just trying to figure out what Hendry does when it looks like he's watching the games. My guess is that he reads the comics in newspapers (Cathy is his favorite) and then sleeps for about 90 minutes, normally dreaming about unicorns, rainbows, Neifi Perez, Dusty Baker, what it would be like if the Earth was made of marshmallows, then he wakes up, walks outside, tries to eat dirt, realizes it's not made of marshmallows (yet). Then he cries for about 3 minutes, then he straps on his bib and eats some chocolate cake, getting it all over his face in the process. Then he usually leaves the games early, so someone can give him a bath and read him a story so he can take another nap. Also, he gets angry if someone suggest he actually do the job he gets paid for.
I don't even care how the article ended. I refuse to know how it ended because the entire situation is just so needlessly stupid. I'm imploring the Tribune Co. board of directors to fire everyone they possibly can. That's right, imploring. In the meantime I'm just going to gouge out my eyes so I don't have to read about/see any more Cubs games this year.
The article was about how Ol' Double Switch seems resigned to just pack it in. Of course, even the title presupposes that Dusty hasn't yet packed it in, which I'm pretty sure he did in May. And, to be fair, he probably started packing it in in June of 2005.
First, Dusty said if he was going to be let go, he'd rather know sooner than later. Well, his contract is up after the game Sunday (only 6 games/losses left in this season!). I'd say if he was going to get an extension, there would have been some sort of discussion about it. Anyways, Jim Hendry, commenting about how it's presumed that Dusty is out, said "Not necessarily."
Jim Hendry, ladies and gentleman, announcing his candidacy for Idiot of the Millenium. How is it not necessarily true?? Do you think everyone has learning disabilities?? And how do you intend to keep your job if you bring back a manager who has only made this team do worse each successive year and you've depleted the farm system? Why can't I stop asking questions? Do you not watch baseball? Have you seen the Cubs play this year? They SUCK. They suck hard. Like a fan in the top of RFK stadium for a Nationals game hard. Also, Hendry is doing Baker no favors by not firing him. Baker has been dragged through shit basically all season due to speculation and whatnot. It's obvious he doesn't want to come back to this. Hopefully it's all sucked a little bit of his will to live, because his managing has sucked a little bit of my will to leave.
Large digression, back to topic though. There were some truly stupid questions asked during this press conference also. But asked if Dusty has a gut feeling he'll be brought back, he said he doesn't allow his gut to feel right now.
That's great. Poor poor Dusty. I'm hoping that Dusty is only talking about his managing status when he says he doesn't let his gut feel. Because every decision I have ever seen him make while 'managing' a game has been inexplicable unless he's having a 'gut feeling.'
Dusty has 'zero' regrets about coming to Chicago. Here's where I beg to differ. I mean, sure he made about $15 million or so for 4 years of 'working.' He basically did nothing for 4 consecutive years while collecting much larger paychecks than I get for actually doing work. But I would think that he would have one regret, and that regret is that now everyone knows that he's such a shitty manager that he most likely won't make that much money again. At least not for a while. Until he can manage a team of only veterans and have them win despite his best efforts to make them suck (like a fan in the top of RFK stadium at a Nationals game).
The article goes on to question how Hendry will evaluate Baker. Apparently Hendry would give no definite answer. I had to stop reading because my eyes actually melted out of my face due to the rage and complete bewilderment of what I was reading. First, what kind of fucking stupid question is that? Second, the fact that I can understand why you would ask the question has me pondering exactly who the bigger idiot is, Hendry or Baker.
Why would you ask that question? Well, obviously Hendry has given Dusty every chance to prove he can do something. Maybe Hendry was just hoping that Dusty would win even a little bit to prove that bringing him in for 4 years wasn't a giant mistake. But apparently Hendry doesn't watch the games. He must not have any idea what baseball is, how the Cubs are doing, any of it. Because there is no other reason that Dusty Baker would have a job right now.
I'm just trying to figure out what Hendry does when it looks like he's watching the games. My guess is that he reads the comics in newspapers (Cathy is his favorite) and then sleeps for about 90 minutes, normally dreaming about unicorns, rainbows, Neifi Perez, Dusty Baker, what it would be like if the Earth was made of marshmallows, then he wakes up, walks outside, tries to eat dirt, realizes it's not made of marshmallows (yet). Then he cries for about 3 minutes, then he straps on his bib and eats some chocolate cake, getting it all over his face in the process. Then he usually leaves the games early, so someone can give him a bath and read him a story so he can take another nap. Also, he gets angry if someone suggest he actually do the job he gets paid for.
I don't even care how the article ended. I refuse to know how it ended because the entire situation is just so needlessly stupid. I'm imploring the Tribune Co. board of directors to fire everyone they possibly can. That's right, imploring. In the meantime I'm just going to gouge out my eyes so I don't have to read about/see any more Cubs games this year.
posted by Jtrouble at 10:30 AM
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