Well this is awesome
I just happened to glance at a couple of headlines on cnn.com today, and I saw a couple of headlines that just absolutely warmed my heart.
The first one I saw was that a a modern-day Jack the Ripper has appeared in London. Or Ipswich, which I will continue to reference as London because I am too lazy to type that out or find out where it is.
This is really cool because, I mean, come on, Jack the Ripper. We haven't had a good 'kill all the prostitutes' killer in such a long time. However, I'm guessing that he's not really paying homage to Jack the Ripper in that he just really likes killing hookers. Or maybe he has to pay for sex, but he never has the money on him, so rather than be indebted to pimps, he just kills the hookers.
But didn't Jack Ripper also remove organs or something? Or am I just confusing facts with a movie plot? Also, is there any proof that Jack the Ripper existed? I guess I've never really done the research on it, which is probably the biggest shame of all.
One downside to this is that the prostitutes (or prossies if you will, since we are talking about the British here) are being warned to stay off the streets. Where's the fun in that? I mean, if you're a British prostitute in London, you probably don't really like your job. Unless you're a classy one, but then you're probably safe from this killer anyways. But that's besides the point. So, wouldn't you kind of enjoy the thrill of possibly being killed? I mean, mix things up a little, you know? I know if I was in danger of being killed at my job, it sure would break up the monotony. Also, it would give me something to keep my mind occupied. For instance, if the killer was to come through this door, what would I do? Say he has a cattle prod that he intends to kill me with, how would I defend against that? (Rubber gloves, totally.) But, no, I have to be all safe at my job. Lucky whores.
On to the next story I saw. Good old Dr. Jack Kevorkian is about to be paroled! Let's get the parade routes closed off now! Finally, someone to assist all of those unassisted suicides. Wait, what? He vows no more suicides?
That's quitter talk. And Dr. Jack is no quitter. What's going on here?
There's an obvious loophole in his reasoning though. I don't think he ever called them suicides. So the good news here is that he can just keep on doing what he's been doing.
Now, I hate most people, and I could really care less if they lived or not. But if Dr. Jack wanted to help out the people I hate, then I'm not going to stop him. Maybe we can call it assisted murder.
Eh, I don't like the sound of where that might be headed. Anything that may tie me back to him I should probably try to avoid.
So, let's just say I encourage him to not look at the list of enemies I will send to him, and to not accept any payments I may or may not send along with that. If he does, then it is out of my hands, and I can claim complete ignorance.
Phew, that's a load off my mind.
In any case, I hope that these news stories fill everyone with hope this holiday season, because they definitely did for me.
The first one I saw was that a a modern-day Jack the Ripper has appeared in London. Or Ipswich, which I will continue to reference as London because I am too lazy to type that out or find out where it is.
This is really cool because, I mean, come on, Jack the Ripper. We haven't had a good 'kill all the prostitutes' killer in such a long time. However, I'm guessing that he's not really paying homage to Jack the Ripper in that he just really likes killing hookers. Or maybe he has to pay for sex, but he never has the money on him, so rather than be indebted to pimps, he just kills the hookers.
But didn't Jack Ripper also remove organs or something? Or am I just confusing facts with a movie plot? Also, is there any proof that Jack the Ripper existed? I guess I've never really done the research on it, which is probably the biggest shame of all.
One downside to this is that the prostitutes (or prossies if you will, since we are talking about the British here) are being warned to stay off the streets. Where's the fun in that? I mean, if you're a British prostitute in London, you probably don't really like your job. Unless you're a classy one, but then you're probably safe from this killer anyways. But that's besides the point. So, wouldn't you kind of enjoy the thrill of possibly being killed? I mean, mix things up a little, you know? I know if I was in danger of being killed at my job, it sure would break up the monotony. Also, it would give me something to keep my mind occupied. For instance, if the killer was to come through this door, what would I do? Say he has a cattle prod that he intends to kill me with, how would I defend against that? (Rubber gloves, totally.) But, no, I have to be all safe at my job. Lucky whores.
On to the next story I saw. Good old Dr. Jack Kevorkian is about to be paroled! Let's get the parade routes closed off now! Finally, someone to assist all of those unassisted suicides. Wait, what? He vows no more suicides?
That's quitter talk. And Dr. Jack is no quitter. What's going on here?
There's an obvious loophole in his reasoning though. I don't think he ever called them suicides. So the good news here is that he can just keep on doing what he's been doing.
Now, I hate most people, and I could really care less if they lived or not. But if Dr. Jack wanted to help out the people I hate, then I'm not going to stop him. Maybe we can call it assisted murder.
Eh, I don't like the sound of where that might be headed. Anything that may tie me back to him I should probably try to avoid.
So, let's just say I encourage him to not look at the list of enemies I will send to him, and to not accept any payments I may or may not send along with that. If he does, then it is out of my hands, and I can claim complete ignorance.
Phew, that's a load off my mind.
In any case, I hope that these news stories fill everyone with hope this holiday season, because they definitely did for me.
posted by Jtrouble at 3:10 PM
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