Reason to PANIC
Did anyone hear about this? A stingray jumped onto a boat and stabbed a guy in the heart. AGAIN. (Again stabbed a guy in the heart, not jumped onto a boat and stabbed a guy in the heart)
After Steve Irwin, I posted a blog on
my myspace about how we should all kill the stingrays and not let them bully us into submission and a life of slavery. Well, maybe it wasn't that in depth, but i think it was something about taking revenge. Apparently, people in Australia were taking revenge, as stingray deaths were up or something.
Well apparently this was all they needed. It seems like stingrays are waging a full-scale war on humans now. Have you seen that episode of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror when the dolphins overtake the humans? Well, it appears to be playing out, except instead of dolphins, its their hate-filled cousin*.
My guess is the stingrays were all upset that they had been relegated to living in the water. And then with Steve Irwin taunting them always, one stingray had had enough. We'll call this stingray Chosen One. And, as you obviously know, stories had been told of the Chosen One, but up to now it was just a legend. At first, the other stingrays were upset, that this rebel stingray had started the revolution, but the Chosen One had a birthmark in the shape of Steve Irwin, so they knew that he must be the Chosen One.
Soon stingrays will be flying onto all kinds of boats, stabbing all kinds of people in the chest. My guess is women and children first, since they're usually smaller, therefore you don't have to fly as high to stab them in the chest.
So, obviously, I'm going to have to carry a sword with me at all times. I'm not going to be caught off-guard by some smart-ass stingray. We will swordfight to the death if necessary. Or, perhaps I'll carry a marlin around, so the stingray knows I still think I'm better than it is (the obvious reasoning behind this is because I refuse to fight the stingray with anything but other marine animals, I'm better).
Call me crazy. But I for one won't go down easy. Also, does anyone notice any resemblence between stingrays and those aliens in Independence Day (in the face at least. Yes, stingrays have a face, jerk)? Coincidence? No chance.
Let's be prepared when these stingray aliens attack us, and we'll banish them back to the water where they belong. Also, if I made a list of people, do you think I could train a stingray to stab them? Because that would be awesome. (After we banish them back to the sea of course and I remember the battle by capturing one and keeping it as my pet.)
*Pretty sure stingrays and dolphins aren't related, since, you know, stingrays are inverterbrates (fact), but I refuse to let that get in the way of my argument
After Steve Irwin, I posted a blog on
my myspace about how we should all kill the stingrays and not let them bully us into submission and a life of slavery. Well, maybe it wasn't that in depth, but i think it was something about taking revenge. Apparently, people in Australia were taking revenge, as stingray deaths were up or something.Well apparently this was all they needed. It seems like stingrays are waging a full-scale war on humans now. Have you seen that episode of the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror when the dolphins overtake the humans? Well, it appears to be playing out, except instead of dolphins, its their hate-filled cousin*.
My guess is the stingrays were all upset that they had been relegated to living in the water. And then with Steve Irwin taunting them always, one stingray had had enough. We'll call this stingray Chosen One. And, as you obviously know, stories had been told of the Chosen One, but up to now it was just a legend. At first, the other stingrays were upset, that this rebel stingray had started the revolution, but the Chosen One had a birthmark in the shape of Steve Irwin, so they knew that he must be the Chosen One.
Soon stingrays will be flying onto all kinds of boats, stabbing all kinds of people in the chest. My guess is women and children first, since they're usually smaller, therefore you don't have to fly as high to stab them in the chest.
So, obviously, I'm going to have to carry a sword with me at all times. I'm not going to be caught off-guard by some smart-ass stingray. We will swordfight to the death if necessary. Or, perhaps I'll carry a marlin around, so the stingray knows I still think I'm better than it is (the obvious reasoning behind this is because I refuse to fight the stingray with anything but other marine animals, I'm better).
Call me crazy. But I for one won't go down easy. Also, does anyone notice any resemblence between stingrays and those aliens in Independence Day (in the face at least. Yes, stingrays have a face, jerk)? Coincidence? No chance.
Let's be prepared when these stingray aliens attack us, and we'll banish them back to the water where they belong. Also, if I made a list of people, do you think I could train a stingray to stab them? Because that would be awesome. (After we banish them back to the sea of course and I remember the battle by capturing one and keeping it as my pet.)
*Pretty sure stingrays and dolphins aren't related, since, you know, stingrays are inverterbrates (fact), but I refuse to let that get in the way of my argument
posted by Jtrouble at 3:05 PM
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