Tying up loose ends
I think it's time for my first random blog on this page. And I have something in mind, but I'm going to wait till I get to the end to write about it. So if some of the early stuff doesn't make sense, that's why.
Why do people refuse to drive the speed limit? I don't get it. The sign says 40, everyone clearly is going 50, and yet there's someone right in front of me topping out at 38. Come on grandma, you cut me off, the least you could do is make it to the speed on the sign.
There are some crazy fucking pedestrians in Peoria. I mean, sure they're everywhere. But I notice it a lot more here because it fills me with so much rage. Today I'm driving home for lunch, and this dude is meandering across my lane. "Oh, don't mind me sir, I'm just sane and trying to drive so people behind me don't get pissed off. I have nowhere to be. It's not like I have to be back at my job any time soon. Oh, I'm sorry, a job is what you have when you get paid to do work. Sorry for using such big words. Really, just take your time. Hey, would you like to look at a butterfly in the middle of the road? Feel free." And I, like a sucker, slow down so he can finish his jaunt across my fucking lane. But if I hit him, it's "manslaughter." Whatever, man. Whatever.
Why is it that the littlest inconveniences fill me with the most rage? Like, if I turn my tv off and the cable doesn't go off. Grrr, I have to push the button again. How dare you?! Or if I drop a spoon into the dishwasher and it bounces out. How dare you make me bend over to pick you up and put you in?! You bastard! Really I'm a very calm person.
So I was reading on cnn.com today, and one of the headlines said '2 beat 1-armed teen with his prosthetic leg.' Also, there's a video accompanying it. Now, if this was done in a movie or something, I could see it possibly being funny if it were in the right context. Like in Monty Python's Holy Grail when the Black Knight refuses to stop fighting. But this isn't a movie. How fucked up do you have to be to team up to beat a one-armed, one-legged teen? I would assume very. Even if this kid was the biggest asshole you've ever seen in your entire life, he only has half of his limbs! Give him a break. And really there's only one punishment for this:
Have you seen that SNL skit where they attract a roach into this little trap, then just burn off it's reproductive organs, then beat it senseless with it's own legs, then dangles food just out of its reach? I would say that's a start. But first, let the one-armed one-legged kid use his leg to beat the hell out of them, and then maybe let him use a bat or something. Then have somebody big use a bunch of prosthetics to beat the shit out of them. I think that would be funny, and also I think it would be fair come-uppance. I know that's something really weird to go on a rant on, but god do I hate stupid people so much.
Why do people refuse to drive the speed limit? I don't get it. The sign says 40, everyone clearly is going 50, and yet there's someone right in front of me topping out at 38. Come on grandma, you cut me off, the least you could do is make it to the speed on the sign.
There are some crazy fucking pedestrians in Peoria. I mean, sure they're everywhere. But I notice it a lot more here because it fills me with so much rage. Today I'm driving home for lunch, and this dude is meandering across my lane. "Oh, don't mind me sir, I'm just sane and trying to drive so people behind me don't get pissed off. I have nowhere to be. It's not like I have to be back at my job any time soon. Oh, I'm sorry, a job is what you have when you get paid to do work. Sorry for using such big words. Really, just take your time. Hey, would you like to look at a butterfly in the middle of the road? Feel free." And I, like a sucker, slow down so he can finish his jaunt across my fucking lane. But if I hit him, it's "manslaughter." Whatever, man. Whatever.
Why is it that the littlest inconveniences fill me with the most rage? Like, if I turn my tv off and the cable doesn't go off. Grrr, I have to push the button again. How dare you?! Or if I drop a spoon into the dishwasher and it bounces out. How dare you make me bend over to pick you up and put you in?! You bastard! Really I'm a very calm person.
So I was reading on cnn.com today, and one of the headlines said '2 beat 1-armed teen with his prosthetic leg.' Also, there's a video accompanying it. Now, if this was done in a movie or something, I could see it possibly being funny if it were in the right context. Like in Monty Python's Holy Grail when the Black Knight refuses to stop fighting. But this isn't a movie. How fucked up do you have to be to team up to beat a one-armed, one-legged teen? I would assume very. Even if this kid was the biggest asshole you've ever seen in your entire life, he only has half of his limbs! Give him a break. And really there's only one punishment for this:
Have you seen that SNL skit where they attract a roach into this little trap, then just burn off it's reproductive organs, then beat it senseless with it's own legs, then dangles food just out of its reach? I would say that's a start. But first, let the one-armed one-legged kid use his leg to beat the hell out of them, and then maybe let him use a bat or something. Then have somebody big use a bunch of prosthetics to beat the shit out of them. I think that would be funny, and also I think it would be fair come-uppance. I know that's something really weird to go on a rant on, but god do I hate stupid people so much.
posted by Jtrouble at 3:47 PM
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